Sex, Blood And Drugs
by babylove969
Summary: Ok i know i shouldn't be starting another story but i just can't help it right now. Even worse I have no idea as to a summary so I'm just gonna say this if you like my other stories you will like this if you don't like my stories you won't like this. WARNINGS: Drugs, Sex, Violence, Possibly a few others.
1. Chapter 1

Prologue

Sasuke couldn't believe what he was hearing he thought for sure these guys were crazy. To begin with he had never even heard of the Higher Ups little lone go on a mission for them. When he was brought to Tsunade's office when he walked in he saw these two men, Kakashi and Tsunade. Tsunade almost looked proud same with Kakashi that was until they actually found out what the mission was going to be. Oh they told him the mission alright but not before Kakashi had to explain that the Higher Ups were a secret organization that was ruled the same as the village. There was a leader and he had other ninja ranked underneath him. Though instead of normal ninja rankings they had numbers the closer to one being the leader you are the more authority and power you have. The Higher Up himself mister number one also out ranked all the other village leaders. Apparently this organization was put in place after the first ninja war to try and prevent another one from happening. It didn't work but it has so far since the second ninja war to keep the villages in some form of normalcy towards each other. Sure there were still enemies but that was part of life. The ninjas that were picked to join the rankings of the Higher Ups were from all over the world they were to be the best of the best. Some were in the organization for their ninja skills, some for their mind and others for unique reasons that made them stand out.

So it's supposed to be this huge honor to actually be invited to go on a mission for the Higher Ups. Given any other circumstances Sasuke was sure it would have been but this mission wasn't one he wanted to go on. Judging by how Tsunade and Kakashi have both been arguing with the two Higher Ups, which through arguments Sasuke had learned that the one was fifteenth and the other was seventeenth from the top. These four adults had been at each other's throats arguing for almost fifteen minutes now and they didn't seem like they were going to just let up any time soon. Though Sasuke was fairly certain he really doesn't get a say in whether he can accept or decline the mission the Higher Ups didn't seem too bothered to pull rank they just let the argument continue. Maybe they wanted Kakashi and Tsunade to vent out their anger so they could move on or these two agents, as they called themselves, felt that sending in a thirteen year old boy into the den of a psychotic pedophile was really the best idea.

The psychotic pedophile also known as Orochimaru was supposed to be his mission. Apparently these two genius agents felt that it would be the best opportunity to destroy the Sound with Orochimaru's new interest in Sasuke. The mission was for Sasuke to go to the Sound for two in a half to three years really it all depended on how strong he got. He was to get all the information that he could on Orochimaru and his labs and then kill him. The best part was that no one but those in the room in this current moment can know he is on this top secret mission, not until he comes back anyways. He would be completely on his own for this if he needed help he didn't have any. If things took a turn for the worse he was stuck on his own to try and survive and make it out alive. Konoha's opinion and by Konoha it really was just Kakashi and Tsunade's opinion the mission was too dangerous for Sasuke to be in the Sound when Orochimaru wanted him for his next body. Though according to the agents that's why he was perfect, because it would mean that another war wouldn't be started by Konoha and the Sound. Finally Sasuke couldn't listen to it anymore so he decided to say something for the first time since the mission was brought up.

"Can you protect me from him?" the question was directed towards Kakashi.

"What?"

"Orochimaru are you strong enough to beat him can you protect me from him?"

Kakashi couldn't help but be taken back by the question. It wasn't like Sasuke to ever ask for protection or even bring it up. He always stood by that he didn't need protection from someone that he could take care of himself. That one question alone let Kakashi knew that Sasuke truly did understand the seriousness of this situation.

"I'm not strong enough to kill him no in a fight he would kill me."

Kakashi hated to admit it but he knew he couldn't lie to Sasuke in that moment even if he did he doubted that Sasuke would have believed him.

"So it's not really a matter of if he gets me it's when he gets me. "

"Sasuke Konoha won't just abandon you we can figure out a way to defeat Orochimaru." Tsunade said trying her best to sound convincing hoping that that would be enough for the young ninja. The problem was Sasuke was smart too smart for his own good and age.

"Is there someone in Konoha that can defeat Orochimaru? He killed the third so I'd imagine the ninja that could beat him in Konoha are very few. I mean no disrespect but can you even beat him?"

"He was my teammate at one point in time but to make a long story short I'm not sure if I am stronger then he is."

"So then my point still stands if he wants me he will get me it's just a matter of when. So tell me honestly what would be better waiting around for him to capture me or go willingly?"

This time his question was directed towards the agents for he knew that Kakashi and Tsunade would try and talk him out of it and sugar coat what he was in for either way. Mister number fifteen spoke.

"If you were captured he would have you in a cell where you will be tortured until it was time for him to take your body over. If you leave willingly you will be put through some tests to prove your loyalty. He will most likely torture you for a few days to make sure he puts fear into you so you don't disobey him. Once you pass that first week though he will train you to make you stronger. So you could either be tortured for three years straight or go through a week of pain to be trained for three years or so."

"He's too young he won't be able to handle the kind of torture and tests that Orochimaru would put him through. He doesn't even know how to kill someone nor has he ever had to." Kakashi said he was desperately trying to get Sasuke out of this. To get these men to change their minds though he knew it was pointless.

"The decision has already been made by the Higher Up himself Uchiha Sasuke will be doing this mission." Agent seventeen said

"Give me two days then. Two days to train him in a few areas that will help him survive. All I'm asking for is two days that could be the difference in him dying or surviving this mission." Kakashi was very close to begging but he didn't care he needed to teach Sasuke a couple of things before he went off to the Sound.

"Very well before dawn on the second day he needs to be leaving Konoha. I suggest you teach him how to kill Orochimaru will not hold back he will expect him to be emotionless, and cold hearted he can not hesitate to kill when ordered." Agent fifteen spoke.

Sasuke was really starting to hate how they were talking about him like he wasn't even standing there. Never the less he kept his mouth shut and waited for this conversation to be over. He really didn't want to kill more so than normal. He was sure it had everything to do with not wanting to turn out like his brother. Though if he was given the choice in battle between his life and his opponents he would choose his so maybe learning how to kill effectively wasn't that bad of an idea. Sasuke was so lost in his thoughts he didn't snap out of them until a puff of smoke appeared signalling the two agents had left. Now it was just Sasuke, Kakashi and Tsunade left to figure things out. Sasuke knew they were going to try and comfort him tell him how he would make it and everything would be alright. In reality though, Sasuke knew that everything wasn't going to be alright. He knew that he wouldn't come back the same that things on this mission that he did and saw would change him and maybe not for the better.

"Sasuke listen to me…"

"Don't."

Sasuke cut off Kakashi before he could say anymore and for the first time since this conversation had even started Sasuke looked Kakashi directly in the eyes.

"Don't tell me a bunch of lies about how it will all be okay. Don't tell me that time will go by quick. Don't tell me that I will come back alive and well and this won't affect me. Don't lie to me you never have before so please don't start now. Just teach me how to survive for the next three years and if I end up making it and coming back you can lie to me then."

Sasuke's voice was soft but it was full of determination. It was clear on his calm face that he really didn't want to do this but he understood all too well that he didn't have the choice. Both Kakashi and Tsunade couldn't help but feel incredibly proud of him.

"Let's go then to the training field and I'll teach you the easiest and quickest way to kill."

With that both Kakashi and Sasuke left Tsunade's office to head down to the training grounds. Kakashi had spent nine hours training him on killing methods and vital spots on the human body to aim for to make it quick and easy. After nine hours Sasuke knew everything that Kakashi did about killing someone. It was late at night when Kakashi left Sasuke at his place before heading home himself. He had told Sasuke to rest up that tomorrow night around nine to come to his apartment that he should make sure he was all packed up and ready to leave. When asked why Kakashi simply told him he had one more lesson that he needed to learn. Sasuke just simply trusted Kakashi and said ok and headed off to bed though Kakashi didn't. He spent a few hours wandering around Konoha just thinking about how to go about this lesson tomorrow. He didn't want to hurt Sasuke but he knew if he didn't teach him this if he didn't mentally prepare him for this then Orochimaru would destroy his mind when he did it to him. Kakashi couldn't stand the thought of that snake anywhere near Sasuke little lone hurting him in that way. Finally Kakashi went home and turned in though nine that following night really did come far too quickly for both Sasuke and Kakashi.

Sasuke knocked on the door and waited for Kakashi to answer. He really wasn't sure what Kakashi wanted to teach him especially this late at night but he wasn't going to argue. Kakashi had said it was important and it would be keen in his survival, so Sasuke trusted him and did as he was told. He had his pack all set to go so after this he could leave Konoha before dawn like he was ordered to. Kakashi came to the door and let Sasuke in he told Sasuke he could put his pack down and sit on the couch Sasuke did as he was told.

"What is it that you need to teach me Kakashi?"

Kakashi sat down on the couch as well he had been dreading this all day he truly didn't want to be the one to do this especially at Sasuke's age. However, given the choice between himself and Orochimaru he would pick himself every time.

"Sasuke remember yesterday when the agent was talking about torture?"

"Yes."

"Well there is more than one way to torture someone and I don't mean physically. Orochimaru will try to break you physically but also mentally and emotionally. I'm not too concerned about the physical part as I am with the mental and emotional part. There is an act that he can do that I'm honestly not sure if you'll be able to handle it. The easiest way to handle it would be to not fight against it and act like you know what you're doing even if you don't."

"I'm not really following you on this one what act could he possibly do that you think it would break me?"

Kakashi took a deep breath in and slowly let it out he knew this would be harder for Sasuke to grasp he was after al only thirteen. His mind didn't think this way he had no idea in regards to this topic.

"Sasuke Orochimaru will rape you partly to break you and the other part is because that's the type of person he is. He enjoys playing with little boys around your age."

Sasuke didn't say anything he was trying to get his mind around what Kakashi had just said. Finally after a few moments the only thing that came out of his mouth was "Oh"

Kakashi could tell that Sasuke was trying his best to wrap his mind around this. Kakashi could see if on Sasuke's face he was freaking out on the inside but trying not to show it. Kakashi was proud of Sasuke you could ask anyone and they would tell you that Sasuke was his pride and joy that he held a special spot in his heart for Sasuke.

"Why am I here Kakashi?"

"Like I said the best way to get through it mentally and emotionally is to know what's going to happen, and to go along with it. If you know what you are doing and have been through it before it's easier to convince your mind you want it."

"You asked me here to show me how to have sex."

It wasn't a question it was a statement Sasuke knew where Kakashi was going with this. He also knew he wasn't ready for this or even ready to entertain this idea. To be honest he didn't even know if he liked girls or guys he just didn't think about sex or things like that. Sasuke did know that he didn't want to do any of this but what Kakashi said made sense. It was going to happen regardless Orochimaru would rape him and he didn't know how well his mind would hold up against that. Not to mention his first time would be with him Orochimaru would make it hurt and knowing that it would hurt it would make Sasuke not want to do it with anyone else. If he turned out to be gay that would mean that he would never be with anyone again out of fear of the pain and memories.

"I know this is a lot to take in I really wish it didn't have to be like this. I don't want to do this anymore then you do."

"It's you or him right? I don't trust him but I do trust you."

That one sentence said it all Kakashi knew that Sasuke was on board with this that he understood what would happen if Orochimaru was his first. Kakashi had to teach Sasuke what to do but he wouldn't hurt him he would make sure that he would at least enjoy it on some level. Kakashi wasn't even sure how the hell he was going to get hard. Was Sasuke attractive of course he was had he been older by four or five years would he jump into bed with him in a heartbeat but currently he's thirteen. He's young and inexperienced and only doing this because it's better to do it with him then to go through it with Orochimaru.

"Ok just follow me and I'll tell you what to do when the time calls for it."

Kakashi pulled his mask down and turned to face Sasuke he was going to start off slow and work his way up hopefully easing Sasuke into this. Sasuke didn't even care in that moment that he was seeing Kakashi's face for the first time. He was too busy trying to get his heartbeat under control. He knew Kakashi didn't want to do this anymore than he did and him freaking out would only make this harder for Kakashi. Kakashi placed a hand on the back of Sasuke's neck and slowly moved him closer once close enough Kakashi placed his lips against Sasuke's. He could feel Sasuke tense up for a few seconds before he tried to relax. Kakashi gently rubbed his thumb against Sasuke's cheek to try and help him relax. After a few seconds Sasuke started to kiss back and follow Kakashi's lead. He felt Kakashi's tongue on his bottom lip asking for entrance and Sasuke gave it to him. It was weird at first to have someone else's tongue in his mouth but he quickly got use to it. He started to move his own tongue against Kakashi's and Sasuke found that just doing this just the kissing he didn't hate it. After a good fifteen minutes Kakashi pulled back they needed to move from the couch to the bedroom. Kakashi grabbed Sasuke's hand and guided him into his bedroom. Once there Sasuke's nerves picked back up again he knew being in here was going to be more than kissing. Kakashi moved him over to the bed and sat him down and Kakashi sat down beside him on the bed. He then pulled him into another kiss Kakashi was going to do this slowly they had plenty of time he wasn't going to rush this. After all this was Sasuke's first time and Kakashi was going to try his best to make this as positive as an experience as he could make it.

After a few minutes Kakashi pulled back to remove his shirt, mask and forehead protector. He then went back to kissing Sasuke before he removed Sasuke's shirt. Kakashi continued to kiss Sasuke as he ran his hands over his back and his chest. Sasuke was doing his best to ignore the nerves that were flooding his body. He followed Kakashi's movements and began to feel Kakashi's torso as well. Kakashi was thankful that Sasuke was a genius and could just go off of what he was doing. Kakashi slowly pushed Sasuke down on the bed so he was lying down on his back with Kakashi leaning over top of him. Sasuke was just trying his best to just relax and enjoy what was going on. He could feel Kakashi's hand going down his chest till he got to the waistband on his shorts. Kakashi moved his hand over Sasuke's clothed crouch and started to gently rub it Sasuke needed to know how it felt to be touched he knew Orochimaru would do it at any chance he got.

Kakashi moved from Sasuke's lips and started to kiss down his neck. Sasuke took this time to move his hands down Kakashi's chest to Kakashi's clothed crouch and started to rub him just like Kakashi was doing to him. They both could feel each other getting hard and Sasuke surprised Kakashi when he took the next step. Sasuke moved his hands to Kakashi's belt and started to undo it so he could get Kakashi's pants undone. Kakashi moved his attention back to Sasuke's mouth Kakashi had to admit knowing that Sasuke was turned on as well and his nerves were starting to fade made him feel a lot better. They both were going to enjoy this at least Sasuke would always remember how good sex with another man can feel. Sasuke slowly ventured his hand down Kakashi's pants and boxers as Kakashi did the same with him. Sasuke let out a small moan when Kakashi's hand touched his now hard member. This was all new to Sasuke but he found himself not afraid to touch Kakashi's member he found himself wanting to touch it. Kakashi thought his heart would stop when he heard the small moan that escaped Sasuke's lips. It had to of been the sexiest sound he had ever heard in his life.

Kakashi was trying his best to take it slow but he didn't know how long that would hold out if Sasuke made any more of those sounds. Kakashi moved Sasuke's shorts and boxers off from his body leaving the boy naked. Kakashi moved his mouth to Sasuke's ear and whispered.

"I'm going to show you something then you're going to do it."

Sasuke just gave a nod as Kakashi began to kiss his way down his neck and his chest. Once he got to Sasuke's member he ran his tongue along it causing Sasuke to let out a small moan once again. Kakashi took Sasuke's member in his mouth and began sucking it taking it more and more every time he moved his head down. Sasuke was biting his lip trying to hold back the sounds that were threatening to escape. He honestly didn't think it would feel this good sure he had touched himself before at night or in the morning he was a teenager after all. Never had it ever felt like this he couldn't believe how good Kakashi's mouth felt around his member. After a few more minutes Kakashi pulled his mouth off and stood up to take his pants off Sasuke knew that it meant it was his turn. Sasuke moved over closer to the edge of the bed so he was level with Kakashi's hard member. Sasuke began to trail kisses down Kakashi's stomach until he reached Kakashi's member. He then did what Kakashi did he started to lick all along Kakashi's member. When he got to the tip Sasuke licked it getting the taste of Kakashi's precum in his mouth the taste was bitter but sweet. Sasuke moved his mouth so he could take Kakashi's member in his mouth and slowly he edged his way down until the whole thing was in his mouth. For the first time Kakashi couldn't help but let out a moan. Sasuke began to work Kakashi's member with his mouth he rolled his tongue over the tip of his cock while he was working his mouth down to the base and back up. Kakashi's mind felt like it was going to explode Sasuke was a quick learner considering this was his first time he was doing a dam good job. Kakashi had to fight with himself not to put his hand in Sasuke's hair and fuck the hell out of his mouth.

After a few more minutes Kakashi spoke.

"Stop lay back on the bed."

Sasuke did as he was instructed and Kakashi reached into the drawer and pulled out the bottle of lube he kept there. He moved onto the bed so he was on top of Sasuke but made it so he was in between Sasuke's legs so they were open. He knew Orochimaru wouldn't prepare him but he couldn't just not do that. This was about showing Sasuke what to do and that it can feel good when done right.

"I need to prepare you it's going to feel weird but just relax if you tense up it will hurt worse."

Sasuke just gave a nod and Kakashi grabbed the lube and spread some onto three of his fingers. He leaned down and started to kiss Sasuke again as he inserted the first finger. Sasuke took a deep breath in as he felt Kakashi's finger going inside of him. It stung a little but he found that if he relaxed like Kakashi had said it helped a bit. With Kakashi kissing him it also worked to have his mind elsewhere. Kakashi slowly started to move his finger in and out of Sasuke before he inserted the second finger. Sasuke managed to keep in the whimper as he got use to the intrusion. Kakashi began to scissor him and search for that sweet spot that would send pleasure through Sasuke's body. Kakashi knew he found it when Sasuke let out a moan and his breath picked up. Kakashi made sure he kept hitting that spot as he inserted the third and final finger.

Once Kakashi felt like he was stretched enough to removed his fingers though the small whimper of disappointment didn't go unnoticed. Kakashi put lube on his cock and then positioned himself at Sasuke's entrance.

"Remember to relax it's still going to hurt for a little bit."

Sasuke gave a nod and took a deep breath in as Kakashi slowly pushed into Sasuke. Kakashi couldn't believe how tight Sasuke was even though he had spent a good fifteen minutes stretching him. It was taking every ounce of strength in him not to push right into him and pound the hell out of him. Slowly being careful not to cause Sasuke too much pain Kakashi pushed in until he was completely inside of him. Sasuke hand moved his hands to Kakashi's shoulders as he pushed into him. It hurt it wasn't unbearable but it did hurt. Kakashi waited a few moments so Sasuke could get use to the feeling he then slowly started to pull out of Sasuke part way then he slowly pushed it back in. he wanted Sasuke to loosen up and get use to the feeling Kakashi knew that it wasn't something that felt normal. He was also looking for Sasuke's sweet spot that would take his mind off the pain. Kakashi knew he hit it spot on when Sasuke let out a loud moan and his hands on Kakashi's shoulders tightened.

Kakashi began to move a little faster making sure he hit that spot each time. The sounds of Sasuke moaning was driving Kakashi crazy and soon he found himself pounding into Sasuke moaning and groaning just as much as Sasuke. When Kakashi was getting close he started to jerk Sasuke off so they could cum close together after a few moments Sasuke cam and a few more thrusts later so did Kakashi. After a few deep breaths Kakashi gently pulled out of Sasuke he rolled over so he was lying on his bed beside Sasuke.

Nether spoke for a good length of time finally Kakashi broke the silence.

"If we lay here any longer we're going to fall asleep. Why don't you take a shower and then you can get ready."

"Ok"

Sasuke slowly got up and made his way over to the bathroom where he could take a shower. He turned the water on so it was nice and hot he had a feeling that this would be the last hot shower he would have for a long time. The hot water on his skin felt good the shower also gave him time think about what happened. He had to admit he didn't hate it like he thought he would he actually enjoyed it. Maybe he did like guys over girls not that it really matter to him either way if he was gay then he was gay he couldn't change that. He wanted to have children one day but there was more than one way to do that. For right now he would just try and make it through the next three years. After a good half hour Sasuke got out of the shower and got dried off and changed. When he went out of the bathroom Kakashi was already in the living room sitting on the couch waiting for him. Sasuke knew that Kakashi would answer any questions that he might have had but in that moment he really didn't have anything to ask. He didn't want to leave but he knows he has to so he picks up his pack and looks at Kakashi.

"No questions?"

"No"

Kakashi got up and moved over so he was standing in front of Sasuke.

"Be safe take it one day at a time and most importantly come back alive."

"I will"

Kakashi didn't say anything more there wasn't anything he could say they both didn't want him going. Kakashi pulled Sasuke into a hug he couldn't help himself he didn't want to let this boy go but he knew he had to. After letting out a sigh Kakashi let Sasuke go and watched as he walked out of his apartment. That would be the last time he saw him for the next three years and when he finally did get to see him nothing would be able to prepare him for the new Sasuke that would walk back into his life.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

_A/N: First off you know what I love when someone swears at you in a review but even more so they don't have the balls to sign in for it. If you're gonna swear in a review at least have the balls to attach your name to it. On a second note I hate what they have Sasuke wearing for in the Sound so I have changed his outfit to something else._

3 Years Later…

It had been a long three years Kakashi still hadn't forgotten the night he spent with Sasuke before he left for the Sound. He also remembers the day where Naruto and Sakura found out that Sasuke was no longer in Konoha. They were heart broken and Naruto immediately went to Tsunade demanding that she let him go after Sasuke to bring him back. They were under the impression that Sasuke left willingly to betray Konoha which was the furthest from the truth but they couldn't risk Orochimaru finding out that Sasuke was on a mission. Tsunade had denied Naruto for obvious reasons and within the next day all of Konoha knew that Sasuke was a missing-nin. It was hard for Kakashi to hear all the rumors and all the negative comments towards Sasuke. Every time someone said something horrible about him Kakashi just wanted to beat the shit out of them.

What Kakashi remembers the most is the day Naruto and the other Genin showed up at his apartment. This was just a month and a half ago Naruto had returned from training with Jiraiya, apparently he learned how to be more sneaky, because he went into Tsunade's office and found the paperwork that proved Sasuke was away on a mission. She had kept it in her office for that very reason so no one would find it but Naruto had and he had told the rest of them about it out of rage. It took Kakashi three hours to get Naruto to calm down and understand that they didn't have a say in the matter that they were all out ranked. Kakashi was relieved that they all had understood why they had to deceive everyone into thinking that Sasuke betrayed Konoha. They also understood how important it was for them to keep quiet about it until Sasuke returned. Once the initial anger and shock passed the worry then began to set in for the Genin, though none of them were Genin anymore except Naruto. They were worried for a friend for a commrad. They had all done their own research on Orochimaru not all of them would admit it, but there had been many conversations about Sasuke and Orochimaru between them within the last three years. They had a good idea what kind of man Orochimaru was, how dangerous he was it was natural for them to be worried about Sasuke.

Kakashi was constantly worried about Sasuke and how he would be when he finally does come back to Konoha. He knew from doing a few missions where he would be tested in order to get into a group or organization how hard it can be on the mind. Sasuke had already been through a lot in his young life Kakashi really found himself wishing it would have been anyone else but Sasuke that got stuck with this mission. Now here they all were standing at Konoha's front gate nearing midnight three years later for Sasuke to return. They had gotten word that Sasuke had killed Orochimaru and was on his way back he was due to arrive tonight. They had all made a silent agreement that they would meet him at the front gates to welcome him back. All of them were curious and nervous to see just what Sasuke would be like.

"Here he comes." Neji said breaking the silence in the night.

The others looked out to see Sasuke slowly approaching the gates. The closer he got the better they were able to make out what he looked like. He was wearing tight leather pants, a tight black muscle shirt with mesh on both sides, black shoes, fingerless gloves on both hands, and worst of all a black studded collar around his neck. Needless to say Orochimaru definitely had him dressed like a street walker. They could see that he was limping slightly it was clear that he was in pain. When he was finally there in front of them that's when the seriousness of the situation came full force. He was covered in dirt and blood, blood that they couldn't figure out if it was his or Orochimaru's. He had cuts on his arms; there was some bruising that they could make out from under the dirt. He just looked completely exhausted. The worst was his eyes they were blank like his body was just working on auto pilot. Naruto was the one to break the silence.

"Sasuke it's good to have ya back teme!"

Sasuke didn't reply he just looked over to Naruto, who was smiling like there was no tomorrow. Kakashi spoke knowing that Sasuke wasn't going to be saying much tonight.

"How are you feeling Sasuke?"

"Tired"

Sasuke's voice was barely above a whisper and it sounded horribly painful. They were shocked how could they not be they all knew where Sasuke had been but they didn't expect this. They didn't expect Sasuke to come back looking this bad this out of it. No one knew what to say and they were all thankful that Kakashi did.

"Come on let's go you can take a shower, get changed and then get some sleep. You look like hell sleep will do you a world of good."

Kakashi gently placed his hand on Sasuke's shoulder and started to guide him in the gates. As they all walked into the gates Kakashi spoke to the others.

"Why don't we all meet up tomorrow for dinner somewhere?"

It was placed as a question but they all knew it wasn't a suggestion it was also a hidden order to leave Sasuke be till then. So they all nodded their heads in agreement and they all went off towards their homes telling Sasuke they would see him tomorrow. Kakashi's hand moved down from Sasuke's shoulder to the middle of his back guiding him through the deserted streets. Kakashi knew something was horribly wrong with Sasuke on any other given occasion Sasuke would have pushed his hand away he never let anyone guide him. Tonight however, he just kept walking without question or hesitation Kakashi was hoping Sasuke just needed sleep but deep down he knew that wasn't the case. Sasuke's apartment was still fully functional and clean Kakashi had made sure he went in every two weeks to clean it and run the water so it would be there for when he got back. However, right in this moment he was taking Sasuke back to his apartment. Kakashi was too worried that Sasuke wouldn't be okay if he left him alone nor did he think he should leave him alone. They got to Kakashi's apartment and Kakashi guided Sasuke in. The room was dark as Kakashi had left his lights off Kakashi reached and turned the light on for the living room once he did Sasuke immediately closed his eyes. Kakashi watched Sasuke slowly open his eyes trying to get them to adjust to the new found light.

"You ok?"

"Not use to light."

"Give it a minute it'll get better."

In the new found light Kakashi could see how pale Sasuke was obviously he hadn't been outside much during the day light. Kakashi knew the Sound was underground but he didn't think Sasuke would be kept underground this whole time. Kakashi made his way over to Sasuke he could see that Sasuke's body had a slight tremble to it Kakashi was hoping that was from exhaustion. Kakashi couldn't help it he pulled Sasuke into a hug he just looked so lost. Kakashi could feel how weak Sasuke's body was in his arms it truly was a miracle that he was still awake little alone standing. Kakashi wanted nothing more than to take Sasuke to his bed and let him sleep but he needed to get clean. The blood on his body was only going to make it worse for his mind and Kakashi needed to see if Sasuke was injured anywhere. Kakashi was about to pull away when Sasuke spoke.

"Please make his hands go away."

It was soft not even a whisper but Kakashi had heard it and it broke his heart. That one simple sentenced spoke volumes at how broken Sasuke had become over the last three years. Kakashi loved Sasuke on what level he didn't know but the now teenager was in his heart and had been long before he left. Kakashi wasn't going to abandon him he would be there to help get him though this no matter what. Kakashi gently pulled away to look at Sasuke.

"You need a shower, I'm gonna grab a change of clothes for you. You should never be wearing this type of clothing. Why don't you go into the bathroom and start the shower I'll go look in my room I should have some sweats that will fit you."

Sasuke just gave a nod and slowly made his way over to the bathroom while Kakashi went to his bedroom. He opened his closest and looked in the back he knew he had some sweat pants and an older shirt that would fit Sasuke. Sasuke was thin that much was obvious Kakashi would need to work on fattening him up to a healthy weight again. After finding what he was looking for he went into the bathroom to join Sasuke. The shower was turned on and Sasuke was looking in the mirror at his reflection. The bathroom light was off so Kakashi flicked it on and again Sasuke closed his eyes at the brightness. Kakashi placed the clothes down on the toilet seat he then placed a hand under the water in the shower it was freezing. Kakashi turned the hot water tap on so the water would become warmer he then turned his attention back to Sasuke who was looking at his wounds in the mirror.

"Why the cold water?"

Sasuke put his head down and turned away from the mirror.

"That's all there was."

Sasuke didn't say a place but he didn't need to say a place Kakashi knew what he meant. Kakashi moved over so he was in front of Sasuke he then put a hand on the back of Sasuke's neck gently rubbing his thumb against his cheek. This action caused Sasuke to close his eyes enjoying the safety behind Kakashi's touch.

"This isn't the Sound. You're back home in Konoha you are not in the Sound. I know it's hard and it'll take some time to adjust but just remember that you're not in the Sound."

Sasuke let out a shaky breath and gave a nod to what Kakashi was saying. Kakashi looked down at what Sasuke was wearing he looked like a hooker and it was driving him crazy to know that this is what Orochimaru had been making him wear clothing like this. The clothes, the blood, the dirt, the cuts nor the bruising is what made his blood boil though. No what did that was seeing that black studded collar around his neck like some pet. Orochimaru had made Sasuke his pet and Kakashi wanted nothing more than to rip that thing off his neck. Kakashi moved his hand away from Sasuke's neck causing Sasuke to open his eyes again.

"I'm sorry I can't see this thing on you anymore."

Kakashi said as he moved his hands to the collar around Sasuke's neck. Kakashi touched it causing Sasuke to flinch slightly but Kakashi kept going. He undid the buckle noticing how unbelievably tight it was on Sasuke's neck, too tight. Kakashi wasn't surprised at all to see the dark bruising around Sasuke's neck once it was removed. Sasuke let out a few coughs after three years Sasuke was finally able to breathe properly. Kakashi threw the collar down on the ground he couldn't believe how bad Sasuke's neck looked it was clear that thing had been on for the last three years the bruising was deep and dark. It made sense why Sasuke's voice sounded so raw and painful the collar had clearly done some damage. Kakashi noticed that Sasuke's shaking was getting worse his body was weak right now and having trouble he needed sleep.

"Let's get you out of these clothes and cleaned up then you can sleep as long as you want."

Sasuke gave a nod then began to remove the gloves from his hands. Kakashi began to undress himself he was going to help Sasuke in the shower and at this point he really didn't think Sasuke would be bothered by it. Kakashi kept an eye on Sasuke though to see how sore he was. It was clear that he was in a lot of pain by the way he moved his whole body ached. With Sasuke's shirt off Kakashi could see the true damage done to the boy. He was thin Kakashi could see his ribs clearly and some were broken. He was covered in blood and dirt from his fight with Orochimaru Kakashi figured, but underneath that dirt Kakashi knew there would be extensive bruising. Once both were naked they got into the shower Kakashi had Sasuke's front up against his chest and slowly let the water hit Sasuke. He was use to cold water for the last three years so Kakashi made sure to slowly ease his sore body into the warm water. Sasuke didn't waste a second to put his head against Kakashi's chest. Kakashi gently began to rub Sasuke's back to get the dirt and blood off from him once that was done he moved to Sasuke's hair. Sasuke moved his head back so the water could hit his hair and Kakashi ran his hands through it. After his hair was clan Kakashi turned Sasuke around so the front could be cleaned. Kakashi ran his hands over Sasuke's chest and stomach though the small whimpers that managed to escape Sasuke's lips didn't go unnoticed. It happened every time he went over a broken or bruised rib. Kakashi reached over to grab a cloth that was in the shower. He wet it under the water then turned Sasuke back around so he was facing him. He gently began to remove the blood and dirt from his face. The whole time Sasuke never said anything nor did Kakashi.

The exhaustion had taken over Sasuke his eyes were blank Kakashi had a feeling that when he woke up he wouldn't even remember this happening. Once all of the blood and dirt was washed away Kakashi could clearly see all the injuries and bruising on Sasuke. His torso was covered in bruising and cuts some were deep, he had a few broken ribs and a few more bruised. His back looked horrible there was more bruising and whip markings some were only a few days old. His face was lined with bruising especially along his jaw line what that could mean Kakashi didn't want to think about it. Both of Sasuke's wrists had bruising all around them meaning within the last week he was restrained, again Kakashi refused to think about what that would mean.

Kakashi put the cloth down and let Sasuke rest his head against his chest again. Kakashi wrapped both his arms around the too thin boy and they just stood there under the warm water.

"My hands are the only ones on you. He's gone Sasuke he can't hurt you anymore."

Kakashi looked down and saw that Sasuke had his eyes closed but the few tears that were going down his face didn't go unnoticed by Kakashi. Kakashi didn't speak another word he just held Sasuke tighter letting Sasuke shed those silent tears. After a good fifteen minutes later Kakashi decided that they needed to get out before Sasuke was completely passed out in his arms. So he moved to turn the water off which caused Sasuke to move as well.

"Come on you need sleep desperately."

They got out and dried off Kakashi went into his bedroom to put on a pair of sweats so he could sleep in while Sasuke got dressed. Once dressed Sasuke came into Kakashi's bedroom to find the man getting the bed ready. He had pulled the comforter back and called Sasuke over to get in. Sasuke did as he was instructed it had been three years since he slept in a bed and he quickly realised how much he missed it. Kakashi got in on the other side and laid down he pulled Sasuke into his arms so Sasuke was lying on Kakashi's chest. Kakashi began to stroke Sasuke's hair and within minutes Sasuke was fast asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Kakashi woke up to the sound of banging, someone was at his door. Kakashi looked down to see Sasuke still fast asleep on his chest he hadn't moved at all. Kakashi couldn't help but notice how damaged Sasuke looked. His face was covered in bruising especially around his eyes showing Kakashi how far into exhaustion he was. The good thing about the exhaustion at least he wouldn't be getting any nightmares. The banging on the door continued forcing Kakashi to get up he was fairly confident of who it would be so he knew he couldn't ignore it. Slowly and carefully he got out of bed so that Sasuke wouldn't wake up, though at this point Kakashi really didn't expect him to. Sure enough Sasuke didn't even move an inch when Kakashi got up. He put his mask on and made sure to keep his eye closed as he went over to his front door. He opened the door to find Tsunade standing on the other side. Kakashi stepped aside to let her in.

"Hello Tsunade- Sama."

"Hello Kakashi."

Kakashi couldn't help but look over at the clock to see what time it was, it was only nine in the morning. By the time they had gotten to bed it was just after one, though so many thoughts filled Kakashi's head that he found he didn't sleep too well.

"How is he?"

Kakashi let out a sigh he truly didn't know where to even start.

"That bad huh."

"He got to Konoha just after midnight honestly I don't even think his mind has registered where he is. He was covered in dirt and blood and his voice was really raw. His eyes were the worst they were just completely dead. It was like his brain had shut off and his body was running on pure instincts. He's beyond exhausted and he's covered in bruises. I'm not positive, but I think he has a few broken ribs I didn't look too closely at his injuries I was more concerned about his mind. I got him to shower and change his clothes from the ones Orochimaru had him wearing then put him to bed. He's been out cold ever since."

"Alright let me check him out then we can talk more about his condition. He's in the bedroom I'm assuming."

"Ya he is."

Tsunade didn't say anything she just made her way into the bedroom followed closely behind Kakashi. Kakashi knew he didn't need to be there for this but he couldn't bring himself to leave Sasuke alone. Tsunade walked into the bedroom to find Sasuke curled up on his left side she couldn't see much with the covers over him but what she could see didn't look good. She walked over to the bed and gently rolled Sasuke over so he was on his back and again he didn't even flinch. Tsunade pulled the cover down so she could get access to his torso then she pulled the shirt up. Tsunade shook her head and the extreme bruising that covered his torso. She placed her hands above his chest and slowly started to heal what she could she then made her way down his body. After a good twenty minutes Tsunade was able to heal as much as she could on Sasuke's damaged body. She pulled his shirt back down and went to pull the cover back over his body. Then something caught her eye on the inside of Sasuke's left arm. She moved his arm so she could get a better look there was bruising but that's not what concerned her. What her concern was the needle marks that littered the inside of his arm. Kakashi walked over to get a better look at what Tsunade was looking at. Kakashi could see the track marks all on the inside of his arm that's when he remembered Sasuke was shaking last night.

"He was shaking last night I just figured it was from exhaustion and pain."

"These aren't from someone else these are self-inflected he's addicted to some kind of drug. My best guess would be heroin it would also explain why he's so thin and pale and the shaking. I can't say when the last time he has done any though that's something only he can answer."

Kakashi couldn't believe this nor could he believe that he didn't notice those marks last night in the shower. Sasuke was an addict, his sweet, innocent and stubborn Sasuke was a drug addict. What Kakashi feared the most was what happened in the Sound to make Sasuke turn to drugs just to escape and handle the situation.

"Can you tell how long he's been doing this?"

"No I can't only he knows that I'm sure withdrawals will be kicking in at some point depending on how much he's done and for how long."

"What other injuries did he have?"

"Five broken ribs, two cracked ribs, internal bruising, extreme exhaustion, starvation, signs of rape, whip markings, damage to his vocal cords, and extensive bruising all over his body. He's healed with the exception of the bruising and his voice will still be raw for a few days. His exhaustion is in a dangerous level he hasn't even registered that we're in the room so for a few weeks he'll be tired a lot until his body catches up. The starvation will be easy to resolve you just have to make sure he eats at this point whether it's healthy or not it doesn't matter he just needs fat on his bones."

"We've broken him."

"This isn't our doing Kakashi this all came from Orochimaru."

"We were the adults he was just thirteen it was our job to protect him. We should have never let him go on this mission. We should have told those agents that it wasn't going to happen and take the consequences. We are just as much to blame for this as Orochimaru is we didn't do our jobs we didn't protect him."

"I know Kakashi, I know."

"Now what do we do?"

"Now you fix him and I'll keep those agents away from him."

"I don't know how to fix this. I don't even know where to start."

"You start with the easiest in his case the starvation then take it one day at a time. His voice and the bruising will heal on its own, just focus on the wounds that he can't heal himself."

"Tonight we were going to meet the rest of the rookies for dinner. Is that still a good idea?"

"I'm not a doctor for the mind Kakashi your guess is as good as mine. I would imagine after being controlled and kept locked up for the last three years that normalcy is what he needs. Get him use to being around people that won't hurt him. Try and get him more social dinner would be good it gets him out and eating but it's not a long outing. Start it out small time periods and work it up from there. I'm not sure if he should be living alone but it has to be his decision. Don't force him to do something he doesn't want to do. He's had that enough in the last three years."

"And the drugs?"

"Talk to him about it he needs to quit. So try and come up with a plan together to get him off of them. I know he won't want to talk to a counselor but maybe even just talking to you would help. If he keeps it all inside of him he's only going to get worse. For now let him sleep until I would say four then get him up and ready to go meet everyone else."

"I know I don't have to ask this but the drugs that stays between us."

"Of course Kakashi. I'll make sure the agents never hear of this they should be back later on today."

"What do they want now?"

"They want his report of all the activity that was going on in the Sound. I'll keep them back for a few days but he will need to write it soon."

"I'll let him know when he wakes up that he needs to start writing it."

Tsunade got up off from the side of the bed and made her way back out towards the front door. Kakashi took one last look at Sasuke before following Tsunade out to the door.

"Keep me informed of what he decides to do Kakashi."

"Yes Tsunade-Sama."

"Take it one day at a time. I'll see you later if you need me you know where I am."

"Thank you"

Tsunade gave a small smile then made her way out the door and back to her office. She was expecting Sasuke to be in rough shape when he came back, but she didn't expect him to be this bad. Tsunade knew the Sound had a wide range of criminals, she knew there would be drugs and drinking. She never expected that Sasuke would turn to drugs especially at such a young age. Tsunade had no doubt that it would take months before Sasuke was ready to go back into missions. It would take years before he was fully ok from this whole ordeal. She knew she wasn't responsible for the pain that Sasuke went through that blame was all Orochimaru's. However, that doesn't change the fact that she felt partly to blame for what happened to him.

Kakashi locked his front door he then turned his attention to his kitchen. He needed coffee that was the only way he was going to be able to function and stay awake today. Kakashi just couldn't get his mind over the fact that Sasuke was addicted to drugs at his age. For right now all he could do was wait till four and wake Sasuke up. He had many questions running through his head questions that he honestly didn't know if he wanted the answers to. Kakashi expected there would be injuries he expected there would be signs of rape it was Orochimaru after all. He didn't expect there to be drugs for some reason in Kakashi's mind the drugs were the worst of them all. For Sasuke to have reached the point where he turned to drugs just to make it through the day then the torture was worse than he had thought.

Once the coffee was finished Kakashi got himself a cup then sat down on his couch. All he could do was wait now till it was time to wake Sasuke up. Hopefully Sasuke would be in better shape to answer them then he was last night.


	4. Chapter 4

_AN: Ok I know I've been gone for a little while I've had a few writers block with one section of this chapter. Not to mention I now have a beautiful 16day old baby girl so she has been getting most of my attention. I only have time to myself when she sleeps so I will be updating this story more frequent then my others but it will take a week or so to get the new chapters out so bare with me._

Chapter 4

It was just about four o'clock in the afternoon and Kakashi was getting ready to wake Sasuke up. He knew he needed to wake him up, but he just couldn't bring himself to do it yet. Hence why he had been standing in the doorway to his bedroom for the last twenty minutes. Kakashi honestly didn't know what to say to Sasuke about the drugs; the torture and rape Kakashi could handle he had been working for the last three years learning what to do about it. The drugs Kakashi had no idea where to even start he was taken by surprise when he saw the track marks and now he was just dumbfounded. For whatever reason in his mind Kakashi found Sasuke being on drugs far worse than whatever torture Orochimaru had put him through. It was just so unexpected for Sasuke to be on drugs especially something as strong and serious as heroin. Sure teenagers experiment with drinking and drugs Kakashi had when he was sixteen almost every teenager does. The problem was teenagers usually do pot never a chemical and if they did it was cocaine. Sasuke was shooting up heroin multiple times a day from the look of his arm that was beyond experimentation. Even looking at Sasuke now Kakashi could see the slight tremble his body had from the withdrawals.

Kakashi let him mind wander to earlier this afternoon. Tsunade had came back to speak with him once she was done speaking with the agents. Judging by how she looked Kakashi knew it didn't go well, but she did manage to get Sasuke a few days to work on his report. She had also brought a change of clothes for Sasuke to change into from the sweats. She had also made sure she spoke with the other sensei's so they could speak with their students about how to handle this situation. She also made sure to let Kakashi know that only her and himself knew about Sasuke's drug problem. Tsunade didn't see a reason to include anyone else in this situation the more people that knew the higher the chance of it being spread around. If it had gotten spread around Tsunade knew there would be trouble with other ninjas. Drinking wasn't frowned upon among ninja, drugs however was an entirely different story. Once you were labeled as a drug addict most ninja will never trust you again nor will they work with you. Some ninja will harass you and attack you for putting shame to the ninja name. Tsunade wasn't going to hold this against Sasuke this wasn't his fault it was theirs, the least she could do was to make sure this stayed quiet. She wouldn't be able to let Sasuke go on any missions until he was clean for three months, though with his injuries and everything that happened in the last three years no one would question why the break.

Kakashi let out a sigh he couldn't put this off any longer he needed to wake Sasuke up they were going to meet the others for dinner in two hours. Kakashi made his way over to the bed and sat down on the edge. He reached out to gently stroke the hair out of Sasuke's eyes as he called his name after a few tries Sasuke began to stir. Slowly he opened his eyes though he closed them once the light from the room hit them. After a few seconds he tried again keeping his eyes squinted until they started to adjust to the harsh light. He realised that someone was beside him and that's when it clicked in Sasuke's mind he had no idea where he was.

"It's okay Sasuke you're in my apartment." Kakashi said as he saw the panic creep its way onto Sasuke's face.

"Kakashi"

"Welcome back to the land of the living. How are you feeling?"

Sasuke moved to sit up his body wasn't in as much pain as it had been for the last few weeks. Someone had healed his injuries and for that he was grateful for. Sasuke looked down he noticed that he was in different clothes and all the blood and dirt was gone. Though his shaking was still there but he knew how to fix that.

"Confused" His voice was still raw and it still hurt to talk but considering all the pain that was gone from his body this was nothing.

"Ya I figured you would be. You were completely out of it last night I would have been surprised if you did remember. Do you remember killing Orochimaru?"

Sasuke just gave a nod to that.

"Do you remember coming back to Konoha?"

"Not really after the fight it all gets blurry."

Kakashi noticed that Sasuke's shaking was getting worse he also noticed that Sasuke was trying to hide it from him. He knew he needed to have that conversation but that would be later tonight. Kakashi needed time to figure it out and how to approach the situation.

"You arrived just after midnight myself and the other teams were there at the front gate. You were exhausted and out of it so I brought you here. You showered and changed and you've been asleep ever since it's now four in the afternoon and you need to get up. We are meeting the others for dinner in two hours."

"I'm assuming I have to go."

"Yes you do they haven't seen you in three years and are worried about you."

"But they think I'm an exile why would they be worried?"

"They figured it out a little while back that you went away on a mission. The rest of the village has already been informed of the truth as well so you won't have to worry about that."

"Tsunade healed me?"

"Yes she did early this morning she also brought by a change of clothes for you they are over there on the dresser. You are going to be sore and stiff for a little while but there were no long lasting injuries that you'll have to deal with. The bruising is still there and your voice is still slightly damaged from the collar but in a few weeks you'll be pain free. The most that will give you trouble is the level of exhaustion and starvation your body is currently under. You haven't eaten much in the last three years why?"

"I don't know it just wasn't always at the top of my priority list. The food was always going bad or there wasn't any between that and the pain food didn't really appeal to me. As for sleep that's probably self-explanatory."

"Why don't you get dressed shower if you want and tonight we can talk."

"About what?"

"Just a few things that Tsunade wants me to go over with you regarding the Agents and your report. But that can wait till later for right now don't worry about it and just get ready to go out."

"This really isn't up for discussion?"

"No it's not you need to eat and the others just really want to see you and make sure you're okay. Its just dinner nothing major it's an hour outside hour and a half at most. Besides its good food how can you say no to that after the last three years."

"Alright where are my clothes from last night?"

"There in the bathroom why?"

"Just want to make sure there's nothing in the pockets."

"Ok well they are in the bathroom."

Kakashi knew that was a lie that Sasuke knew there was something in the pockets. Kakashi was mentally slapping himself for not thinking about checking them when he found out about the drugs.

"Ok I'm gonna take a shower then and get ready I guess."

Kakashi gave a nod and stood up making his way towards the door. He turned around to find Sasuke standing and grabbing the clean clothes.

"Oh and Sasuke use the hot water no more cold showers."

Kakashi didn't even wait to see Sasuke's reaction he just walked out he knew that Sasuke would be having problems it was natural. There would have been rules in the Sound and after three years almost Sasuke would just naturally follow those rules even though he wasn't there anymore. Kakashi made his way to the living room where he sat down on the couch to wait for Sasuke to get ready. It was easier then he thought it would be to get Sasuke to go out for dinner with the rest of them. Though Kakashi really didn't give him much of a choice another thing he would have to be careful about how he worded his sentences. Sasuke was use to following orders and not having a choice Kakashi didn't want to be the replacement for Orochimaru.

Sasuke grabbed the change of clothes that was left for him on top of the dresser. The clothes were simple and basic just a pair of black pants and a black t-shirt. He was thankful for their simplicity after what he had been forced to wear for the last three years. Sasuke went into the bathroom where he could shower and get ready to go and meet the others. He really didn't want to he just wanted to be left alone and not be hounded by questions. However, Kakashi had taken him in last night and he didn't appear to be willing to let this one slide so he owed it to him to go. He also wasn't looking forward to the talk that would come afterwards but he was hoping he would be able to sneak away and go home afterwards. He really did just want to be left alone and be in his own space and in his own bed again.

Once in the bathroom Sasuke placed his clothes down on the counter before picking up his clothes from last night. The shaking was getting worse and he wasn't feeling too great but that would only last for a few more minutes once he got what he needed. Sasuke reached into one of the pockets and pulled out a lighter and a small baggie with white powder in it. In the other pocket there was a syringe; he placed the contents down on the counter and then looked for something to put the powder in. He found the cap of a water bottle in the garbage can that would work for what he needed it for. Sasuke placed the lip on the counter and poured some of the white powder into it. He then added a small amount of water into the cap and using the flat end of the syringe he mixed it around. Once he was satisfied he picked up the cap and used the lighter underneath it to make the mixture turn into liquid. Once that was done he placed it back down on the counter and filled the syringe up with the new liquid. He then turned back to his old pants and took off the belt that was on them. He wrapped it around his left arm tight so he had better access to his veins. Once he was sure he had a good vein he pushed the syringe in and emptied its contents into his abused body. Sasuke took the belt off and put the syringe on the counter he could feel the warmth flooding through his body as the chemical took over him. He could feel the nausea and shaking leaving his body.

Sasuke slid down to the floor and leaned against the tub he just sat there letting the drug run through him. He knew he didn't have long but he didn't care he wanted to enjoy this moment where he felt nothing. His mind was quiet and empty and his body didn't hurt at all he was completely numb which is why he loved this drug. In the Sound this drug had saved his life and mind on more than one occasion it kept him alive and even now he can't bring himself to stop. Sasuke knows what the drug is doing to his body but he just can't bring himself to care enough to quit. He wasn't ready to deal with everything he needed more time. After a good twenty minutes of just sitting there completely oblivious to the world around him he got up and turned the shower on. He did what Kakashi said and used the hot water so the shower wasn't cold. He had to admit after three years of cold showers it felt unbelievably good against his drug induced skin. After a good hour he got out of the shower and got dressed he made sure to hide the track marks with a wrist band that he always wore. He then made his way out to the living room where Kakashi was sitting on the couch.

Kakashi had been sitting on the couch for over an hour now. He knew Sasuke would take a shower and he would be in there for a while what bothered him was the time Sasuke was in the bathroom without the shower running. Kakashi watched Sasuke walk out of the bathroom and into the living room. Kakashi immediately noticed that Sasuke was no longer shaking and he had this calm look on his face. Kakashi was mentally slapping himself for not checking Sasuke's pants last night or this morning. Clearly he was high right now. Sasuke didn't sit down he just leaned against the one wall across the room from Kakashi, though Kakashi could make out his eyes and they were hazy Sasuke was there but he wasn't all there.

"Feel better?"

"It's funny you forget how much cold showers suck."

"I'd imagine there's a lot you've forgotten about."

"What do you mean by that?"

"From being in the Sound I'm sure there were rules and routines you just got so use to. It's natural that normal things like a warm shower would seem foreign to you after all this time."

"What did you want to talk to me about?"

"It can wait till tonight for now we better head out we don't want to be late."

"You're always late why does right now change that?"

"When it's important I'm always on time and this is important. So let's go and met the others they are looking forward to seeing you."

"Ya…"

Sasuke looked down at the ground and Kakashi could tell that something was wrong that he was nervous.

"What's wrong?"

"Just… not looking forward to all the questions."

"I really don't think there will be that many questions or hard questions I should say. The others understand that you are just getting back and Naruto will be too excited telling you everything that he did in the last three years to even bring up any hard questions. And if nothing else you don't have to answer the questions you aren't ready for. So don't worry just try and have some fun and relax."

Sasuke just gave a nod he knew that he couldn't argue with Kakashi he wouldn't win. So he just opted to follow Kakashi outside where the sunlight hit him full force. He closed his eyes and let out a groan the sunlight hurt the worse it was so bright and sharp it made his eyes burn. Kakashi looked over to see Sasuke had his eyes scrunched up from the sunlight. Kakashi really thought that his eyes would have been better with the lights being on.

"Open your eyes slowly it will take a few minutes but they should adjust to the light."

Sasuke slowly started to open his eyes slowly getting them to adjust to the harsh sunlight. After three years in the darkness his eyes weren't use to light so they burned only making Sasuke wish he could go home and hide from the world. He couldn't wait until tonight he would be home in his own space with his own bed where he could just sleep as long as he wants. He wouldn't have to deal with anyone's questions or looks. After a few minutes Sasuke's eyes were more adjusted to the light though he was still squinting his eyes didn't feel like they were going to catch on fire.

"Your eyes should get better within a few days of being around light again."

"I never really realised how dark it was down there. I guess I just got used to it."

"Come on we're gonna be late."

Sasuke just nodded and followed Kakashi down the street to the restaurant. They didn't speak the whole way there and for that Sasuke was grateful for. What he wasn't grateful for were all the looks and whispers he got as they made their way through the village. The village had been informed that he was away on a mission but that didn't stop people from talking nor did it stop the rumors that were already going around. Sasuke had already sworn he wouldn't talk about what happened in the Sound that he would take it to his grave and he meant that. The last three years was his secret and he would be dam if he was going to share it with anyone. They arrived at the restaurant and everyone was already there sitting at a table waiting for them. Naruto was the first to speak up.

"You're late!"

"Yes I know I know."

Kakashi guided Sasuke to sit down there were two empty seats beside each other Kakashi was against the window and Sasuke was beside Shikamaru. Kakashi noticed that around them immediately were Shikamaru, Neji and Shino the three most quiet and the louder voices were further down the table away from Sasuke. They had obviously thought this out or at least those three did. Sasuke was thankful that he was around the quieter ones in the group he really wasn't in the mood to handle Naruto. Though, he was a little worried that Neji who was directly across from him would notice that he was off. Neji was just as observant as he was he would notice his eyes being hazy, but hopefully he would think that it was from exhaustion.

"Well you look better then you did last night Teme!"

"Hn"

"So how was it? What was it like?" Naruto asked with an eager filled voice.

"What do you mean?"

"What do you mean what do I mean. What was the Sound like you were there for almost three years!"

Sasuke didn't answer right away he didn't know what to say to answer that question. What was the Sound like? It was horrible, painful, tiring, it left him broken and cold and confused. He couldn't tell Naruto that though, he couldn't tell anyone that, so he answered with what he thought really summed it all up.

"Dark"

Naruto looked confused by that answer and it was clear that he was going to ask for more of an answer and what Sasuke meant by that. Everyone else didn't know how to reply to that answer either even Kakashi was a little shocked by how Sasuke seemed to sum up his experience to one word. Shikamaru being the genius that he is, found a way to change the subject and avert everyone's' attention away from Sasuke.

"I guess we better bring you up to speed on what's been going on in Konoha since you've been gone. There have been a few changes in ranks and some rules."

"Hn"

That's how the rest of the dinner was spent. Shikamaru and the others talked about what happened in the last three years to Konoha and themselves. Every time Naruto or one of the others would ask about the Sound either Kakashi, Shikamaru or Neji would change the subject so Sasuke wouldn't have to answer. Throughout the dinner Neji who was right across from Sasuke couldn't help but watch him discreetly. His eyes were squinted the whole time, but from what he could see they were hazy from what he didn't know. He had some bruising still visible on his skin as well as cuts but the rest of his injuries were healed except for his voice. That still sounded incredibly painful which is another reason Neji helped Kakashi and Shikamaru redirect questions from Sasuke, so he wouldn't have to talk much. All and all Sasuke just simply looked out of it the whole time. Finally Neji took a chanced and whispered across to Sasuke.

"Are you alright?"

"Hm?"

"Are you alright? You seem really out of it and you've been squinting this whole time."

"I'm just tired and the light hurts my eyes. Kinda not use to it so it burns."

"So when you said the Sound was dark you meant that literally."

"Not much light other than the occasional lantern when you live underground."

"In a few days they should be back to normal."

"So I'm told."

Neji didn't say anything after that sure he had a lot of questions for Sasuke, but he knew he wouldn't be getting any answers from him. Fifteen minutes later dinner was over and Kakashi and Sasuke were walking back to Kakashi's for "the talk". Sasuke had tried like no other to get out of it so he could just go home, but the other refused to let him go home without speaking with him first. Now here they were standing in Kakashi's living room staring at each other. Finally Kakashi moved over so he was sitting down on his couch, but Sasuke refused to sit. It was nearing nine o'clock and it had been close to five hours since his last hit and his body was craving. He had started shaking just before they left the restaurant and he was fairly certain Kakashi had taken notice by now.

"Is there a point to this or are we just gonna stare at each other all night, because if so I'd really like to go home now." Sasuke said with a snap in his voice the withdrawals were starting to kick in usually he shot up every four hours to keep from going through withdrawals. However, tonight he hadn't been able to not to mention the hours he spent sleeping so that one hit really wasn't enough to balance out his body.

"First off, Tsunade has bought you some time to write your report for the Agents you have till the end of the week."

"I have four days to write a report with three years' worth of shit seriously?"

Kakashi had to admit he was a little surprised by the swear word that came out of Sasuke's mouth, this was a different side of him.

"Just the important things such as locations of hideouts or labs, experiments that you know of things like that. You don't need to write every detail of daily activities just the major situations. Secondly, Tsunade has healed your wounds, but she wants to make it clear to you that you shouldn't be using your chakra for a week or so till your body is fully healed. Especially with your level of exhaustion and starvation that your body is in it's extremely dangerous for you to use your chakra."

"Fine so I won't use it for a week or so is that all?"

"No that's not all not even close. There's a more serious issue then your chakra Sasuke."

"Oh and what might that be?"

"The fact that you're on drugs."

"I'm not on drugs"

"Don't don't you dare even think about lying to me right now. I saw the track marks when Tsunade was healing you so do not lie to me not after everything!"

Kakashi couldn't help, but let his anger show, but he wasn't mad at Sasuke he really wasn't he was mad at himself for letting him go three years ago. He was mad at Orochimaru for whatever torture he put Sasuke through to bring him to the point of drugs. Anger wasn't going to get Sasuke to open up to him, anger was only going to make Sasuke close up and not tell him anything tonight or another night. He needed to push this subject, but he couldn't push too hard or Sasuke would avoid him and not talk about it. Kakashi looked up at Sasuke he had his eyes turned onto the ground and Kakashi noticed that the shaking had gotten worse with Kakashi's raised voice. Yelling obviously scares him and turns him slightly submissive so Kakashi would have to remember to keep his voice level and calm.

"I'm sorry I yelled you're not in trouble Sasuke. I'm not angry with you I'm concerned. I know things are different that you're not the same person you were before you left, but I never thought you would be a drug addict. I'm not asking you to tell me what happened or why you turned to drugs. I'm not saying you have to quit nor am I making you quit realistically I can't even though I really wish I could. All I'm asking from you is honesty. Its heroin is it not?"

"Ya" Sasuke whispered

"For how long?"

"Two years roughly"

"Have you always used needles?"

"Ya"

"Always clean?"

"Yes"

"Tsunade did a scan of your chakra she said you were clean of any STDs in case you were wondering. Do you want to quit?"

"I don't know I haven't really thought about it."

"Like I said I can't make you quit, but whenever you decide you want to I'll be there every step of the way. You really should talk to someone a counselor of some kind and talk about the last three years you need to deal with the issues and get past them. I know you're not one for talking about your problems, but it's going to hit you full force what happened in the last three years. It hasn't truly hit you yet you've been too busy trying to survive I promise you in a few days reality is going to set in and it will hit you. You really need to consider talking to someone."

"I'll think about it. Look I'm really tired I just want to go home and sleep. I'll think about what you said and try and figure it out."

"You really shouldn't be alone right now Sasuke."

"No offense I appreciate you bringing me here last night, but I've spent the last three years surrounded by people. All I really want to do right now is to be back in my own apartment and sleep in my own bed. Where I can be alone and not have to worry about who's around me or what might happen if I fall asleep. Please Kakashi let me go home."

"Okay, but I'm gonna come and check on you in a couple of days. I won't tomorrow, but the next day I'm going to be coming over and making sure you're okay. I won't come tomorrow because you need to sleep as much as possible your body desperately needs it."

"Thanks"

"My door is always open to you Sasuke you know that. I don't care what time of the day it is don't hesitate to come over if you need to. We don't have to talk we can just lie down or sit on the couch so you're not alone."

"I know and I will if I need to I'll come by I promise."

"Good go home get some sleep."

"Good night Kakashi."

"Good night Sasuke."

Sasuke left Kakashi's apartment and headed off down the street, but he wasn't going to his apartment just yet. There was something he needed so he headed off to the bad part of Konoha where he would be able to find what his body was craving. It was no secret that Konoha had a dark side of the village where you could find drugs and hookers. Every village had one it was only natural, after all not everyone could have a good life. After a good fifteen minutes Sasuke had arrived and he immediately started to look for someone that would have what he wanted. He saw a shady looking man just a few alleys down he had just finished up with a client of his so Sasuke knew he was a dealer. Now all he needed to find out was if he was dealing what he was looking for. Sasuke walked up to him completely not caring what dangers he could be putting himself in. The man looked at Sasuke he knew who he was after all it was hard not to know who Uchiha Sasuke was in this village or this side of the world for that matter. Though, he never expected to see him in this part of the village.

"Well well well look who decided to slum it. What is the great Uchiha Sasuke doing in this part of town hm?"

"I'm looking for something maybe you can help me out with that."

"Well that would depend on what you're looking for."

"H"

"Well you're in luck that's my specialty how much you want?"

"An ounce you got that much?"

"I do if you got the money."

"I wouldn't be here if I didn't have the money."

Sasuke made his point by pulling out three hundred dollars so he could get the ounce. The man pulled out the ounce of heroin and handed it over to Sasuke and took the money from him. Sasuke looked at it to make sure it was the right amount and the right drug. Satisfied he turned to leave, but the man's voice stopped him.

"I'm here every night the names Kovu if for some reason I'm not here the locals know where to find me."

Sasuke just gave a nod and headed his way back to his place so he could shot up. He knew he had enough needles at his place for tonight and tomorrow. He only had them in his first aid kit just in case he would need to administer a sedative to himself. Being a ninja always resulted in injuries he wanted to be prepared for the worse. Finally he got home and immediately went into the bathroom to fetch a clean needle. Sasuke wasn't lying to Kakashi when he said he always uses clean needles he wasn't an idiot he knew the dangers of using dirty needles and he definitely never shared his needles. After grabbing a clean needle he headed back out into the kitchen to get a spoon then made his way over to his couch. He sat down and prepared everything then shot up feeling the warmth spread through his entire body.

After a few moments when he felt like he could breathe again he got up and walked around his apartment. Someone had been in recently to clean the place Sasuke assumed it must have been Kakashi. He was also surprised that he had power and water as well apparently Kakashi had made sure this place was functional for whenever he got back. Sasuke eyed his bed it was made and it looked the same as it did before he left Sasuke wanted to crawl into it, but his body just couldn't. It had been three years since he slept in a bed he always slept on the cold concrete floor next to Orochimaru's bed. The only time he was in a bed was when Orochimaru was screwing him. Last night he slept in Kakashi's bed, but he was so out of it he didn't even know what was going on. Sasuke turned back to the living room where he would spend his night on the couch. Sasuke turned the TV on and he sat there watching TV and movies all night long as he shot up every few hours. He knew he should sleep but he couldn't his mind wouldn't stop and sure enough what Kakashi had said was true. Once he was alone and in the quiet of his apartment the last three years hit him and he found himself not only shooting up, but he was drinking the bottle of sake he had under the kitchen sink. He never use to drink he only had the bottles because it was in the Uchiha house and when he cleaned it out he brought them back here. Now he was thankful that he did. That is how he spent the next day and night drinking, shooting up and smoking he didn't eat and he didn't sleep. He did forget that Kakashi was due to check in on him sometime that day.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Kakashi would be lying if h said he hadn't spent that night and the whole next day worrying about Sasuke. He didn't know what kind of condition he would be in when he saw him today but he was hoping for the best. Yes Sasuke was doing heroin but he hadn't hit rock bottom at least so Kakashi didn't worry too much about leaving him alone in his apartment. At least that's what Kakashi thought but when he walked into Sasuke's apartment at just after two in the afternoon he was proven wring. There was empty sake bottles all over the floor and table along with drugs and needles and cigarette ashes. The place smelled of cigarette smoke which shocked Kakashi he didn't think Sasuke was smoking as well. In that moment Kakashi knew that Sasuke was at rock bottom it was obvious that he had spent most of his time drinking and getting high. Kakashi walked around the apartment to see if he could find Sasuke he was hoping to find him in his bedroom sleeping it off. He didn't of course instead he found him on the balcony with a cigarette in his mouth. Kakashi could see Sasuke swaying on his feet he was still drunk and high even in this moment.

Kakashi let out a sigh then headed out onto the balcony to join Sasuke. When Kakashi could actually see Sasuke's face up close he looked like death. He was pale and had dark bags under his eyes you could clearly tell that he had spent the last day and a half getting high and drunk and at that Kakashi's heart broke. This was the result of what happens when you put an innocent child in the hands of the devil himself. Sasuke was completely lost and broken for the first time Kakashi found himself doubting whether he could put Sasuke back together.

"So you smoke to eh?"

"Kakashi what are you doing here?" Sasuke's voice was empty there was no emotions what so ever to him. Kakashi was starting to get an idea as to why he was doing the drugs.

"I told you I would be coming over today remember the other night after dinner with everyone."

"Oh ya I forgot."

"That doesn't surprise me. You know you only have tomorrow and today to write your report."

"Fuck the Agents they didn't care in the last three years whenever I spoke to them."

"You spoke to them during the last three years?"

"Every three fucking months one of those assholes would show up asking what had happened in the time that passed. I would tell em and then he would leave after he got what he wanted."

"Define what he wanted."

"Seriously like you don't know." Sasuke said with a laugh in his voice as he brought the cigarette up to his mouth.

"Know I don't know."

"Think about it."

"If I think about it I'm going to come up with an idea that will only make me enraged. So I need you to tell me so I don't get angry."

"Sex or head if they didn't have enough time that was the price of protection."

"Protection?"

"Had someone else on the inside I guess to keep the other ninjas off my back. So instead of five hundred ninja coming after me it was only a handful. Never saw the person or told who the person was, but the first three months were the worst. After that first meeting with the Agents the people stopped coming after me at the time it was worth it."

"You had to trade sexual favors for your own safety."

"Well after three months of being tied down and fucked all night long. Screwing them for protection seemed like a better trade off. I still had to deal with Orochimaru and his friends but it was only twelve men I had to worry about instead of five hundred."

Kakashi could feel his blood pressure rising he was seeing red. Those two agents not only had the nerve to put a thirteen year old in the hands of a psychopath, but they actually had the balls to put him in the situation where he would perform sexual acts on them. Kakashi wasn't going to let this go he would be having a conversation with Tsunade and demanding that something is done about it. As much as Kakashi hated that Sasuke was high and drunk there was one good thing about it he was more loose with his mouth. Sasuke talked when he was high and drunk and Kakashi was going to take advantage of it.

"Did you start drinking before the heroin in the Sound?"

"Mmm no that was about six months after the drugs started."

"Drugs? As in more than one?"

"Yup"

"What other drugs Sasuke?"

"Cocaine, meth, pot, and ecstasy."

"Then heroin?"

"Well ecstasy was first Orochimaru gave it to me well forced it down my throat technically. That was the first night in the Sound he said he wanted me to enjoy our time together." Sasuke let out a chuckle to that. "He gave it to me a few times a week for a month. There was this guy that was ordered to watch me when Orochimaru wasn't around he got me to smoke pot with him then that lead to cocaine and then meth with him never used needles until heroin."

"He got you on heroin?"

"He shot me up for the first time. The other drugs they didn't really affect me it was just something to take the edge off for a little while. With the heroin though it was like magic everything was gone and it was gone for hours upon hours at a time."

"That was two years ago?"

"Yup"

"Why are you still doing it?"

"Still has the same effect everything just goes numb."

"What happens when you don't take it?"

"Everything is loud."

"What do you mean loud?"

"Everything the pain, the memories, the screaming that fills my head everything is just so loud. It's like I can't get it to quiet down, but the heroin makes it stop it makes it all ok again. When I'm not high it feels like I can't breathe from it all, but when I'm high I can breathe again and for those few hours of quietness I know I'll survive."

Kakashi didn't say anything to that he understood what Sasuke mean t. in a sick twisted irony the heroin had saved Sasuke's life in the Sound. When he said the word survive Kakashi knew that h meant not kill himself and Kakashi was certain he had tried before. It was understandable that he would have dark thoughts and suicidal thoughts from being in the Sound who wouldn't. The heroin was his escape his coping method and now Kakashi had to work on getting him off the drug. It would take some time Kakashi wasn't a fool he did research all day yesterday on how to detox from heroin. He wanted to make sure he was ready and knew what to do when the time came that Sasuke wanted to quit. For now until that day comes all Kakashi could do was get Sasuke through each day and hope that the day he wanted to quit would come soon.

"Come on you need sleep."

"I don't sleep."

"I know you haven't slept much in the last few years but your body desperately needs it. Not to mention I need to sober you up so you can write your report for tomorrow."

Kakashi placed his hand on the middle of Sasuke's back and guided him inside and towards his bedroom. Kakashi walked in but Sasuke stayed in the door frame just looking at his bed. He couldn't do it he couldn't sleep in his bed or any bed his mind was screaming at him that he wasn't allowed. Kakashi looked over at Sasuke confused as to why he didn't come into the room.

"Sasuke?"

"I can't… not allowed I can't."

"Sasuke focus what aren't you allowed to do?"

"Sleep in a bed. That's a rule a big rule… I can't."

"Where did you sleep in the Sound?"

"Floor next to his bed."

"Why next to his bed?"

"That's how far the leash would reach."

"Leash? He kept you on a leash?"

"All the time I belonged to him it never came off until I killed him."

"So you were never allowed to sleep in a bed?"

"I was only in a bed when he wanted sex never to sleep."

Kakashi's mind was going a mile a minute he couldn't believe that Orochimaru had kept him on a leash. Sasuke said he was never off the leash which meant that everywhere Orochimaru went Sasuke would have to go with him. It also meant that in three years Sasuke never got privacy he had to shower with Orochimaru and spend all day long with him at his mercy. Sure the other night Sasuke slept in Kakashi's bed but Sasuke didn't even remember anything that happened that night. Now that Sasuke was aware, high but aware, his mind couldn't get passed the rules that Orochimaru had set during those three years.

"Ok how about this we take a pillow and a blanket and you lay down on the couch. You need to sleep and you can't keep sleeping on the floor."

"You're not gonna make me sleep in a bed?"

"I'm never going to make you do anything you don't want to do Sasuke. You just got back from the Sound I understand that you can't just stop following the rules that have been drilled into your head. Sleeping on a couch is a step up from the floor and eventually you'll be able to sleep in a bed again. For now how about we compromise and you sleep on the couch. Deal?"

"Ok"

Kakashi grabbed a pillow and blanket from the bed and walked out into the living room with Sasuke. He placed the items on the couch and got Sasuke to lay down. It took a little bit but sure enough Sasuke fell into a deep sleep. Though, Kakashi was sure the alcohol and the drugs had a lot to do with it. Kakashi then summoned Pakun to request for Tsunade to come by and speak with him. Once that was done Kakashi then turned his attention to the mess that was in the living room. There were liquor bottles on the table and floor not to mention all the drug stuff on the table. Kakashi picked up the ash tray and brought it into the kitchen to empty. He then began to pick up the liquor bottles and brought them into the kitchen the ones that weren't empty he poured out then placed them in the blue box. Kakashi then turned his attention to the drugs, he gathered up the used needles so he could put them in the right place. Kakashi noticed the sharp box in the kitchen where he could place the dirty needles in. There was a spoon that he put in the sink and the baggie with the white powder he wasn't sure what to do with it. He thought about getting rid of it while Sasuke slept. The problem was Sasuke would go through withdrawals and if he didn't have any it could be dangerous but on the other hand Kakashi couldn't just leave it for him to use. Letting out a sigh Kakashi dumped the white powder out in the sink then turned the hot water on to get rid of it. Kakashi was hoping h was making the right decision by getting rid of it though he really didn't know at this point. Kakashi ten wiped the table down with a wet cloth and swept the floor so the place was once again clean. He was about to sit down when there was a knock on the door.

Kakashi opened the door to let Tsunade in he placed his finger to his mouth to signal for her to be quiet. Tsunade nodded and entered Sasuke's apartment she immediately saw Sasuke asleep on the couch. Kakashi signalled for her to follow him as he headed for the balcony so they could talk but not disturb Sasuke. Once outside on the balcony Kakashi closed the door but made sure he could still see Sasuke in case something happened.

"Well at least he's asleep." Tsunade said as she looked at Sasuke through the glass.

"I just got him to sleep not too long ago. He's been up since the night he came back."

"He hasn't slept since that night?"

"No after the dinner I brought him back to my place to talk I told him about his report and that I knew he was on drugs. It is heroin and it's been about two years that he's been doing it. I asked if he wanted to quit he said he didn't know that he hadn't really thought about it. I told him I couldn't make him quit but when he decided that he wanted to that I would be there for him. I tried to get him to stay with me but he didn't want to he just wanted to be alone. So I told him I would come by today to check in on him when I got here though he was completely high and drunk. He hasn't written his report yet I'm not too sure you'll get it by tomorrow night, though that really is the least of my worries."

"He was drunk?"

"Ya apparently he drinks, does drugs and smokes. All great habits for a sixteen year old to be into."

"We both knew he wasn't going to come back innocent and the same person he was when he left Kakashi."

"I know."

"Why is he on the couch?"

"He's afraid to sleep in a bed. Orochimaru literally kept him on a leash and it was a rule that he had to sleep on the floor. So he spent three years sleeping on the cold hard floor and the only time he was allowed in the bed was when Orochimaru wanted sex. He's afraid of being punished if he sleeps in a bed even hi own. So I compromised and got him to sleep on the couch but it took a bit to get him to calm down and relax."

"I always knew Orochimaru was a sick man but to actually keep a human being on a leash like a dog is just disturbing."

"Unfortunately we have a more serious issue. The Agents that sent Sasuke on this mission checked in on him once every three months. The first time one of them showed was on the third month in he told Sasuke that they could offer him protection. That they had someone on the inside that could make it so that everyone, other than Orochimaru and his closest men, would leave him alone. Sasuke had said that those first three months were hell basically he didn't sleep he kept getting assaulted by different men that it just never ended. The Agent offered him this protection but at a cost. They both wanted sexual favors from Sasuke in exchange for the protection."

"They what?"

"Ya they wanted Sasuke to let them have sex with him and in exchange they would see to it that he didn't have to worry about over three hundred men. He would just have to worry about Orochimaru and the eighteen or so men that he had."

"Sasuke agreed?"

"He did but he told me he really didn't have much of a choice at that point. He knew he wouldn't survive much longer with how things were going. He also said it was better to have sex with them then to have everyone in the Sound after him. The problem is if they were doing it to Sasuke then they've done it to others before and are still doing it to other ninja now."

"Alright I'll send a letter off to the Higher Up himself and let him know of the situation. It will be up to him if he wishes to look into it or not I have no power over that."

"I understand hopefully he will look into it."

"In the meantime we have Sasuke to worry about. I can order him to live with you if you wish."

"I don't know what to do in this situation. Part of me wants you to do that but the other part is screaming that it would be a bad idea. Sasuke's been at Orochimaru's mercy and control for so long I don't want him feeling like I'm the replacement. I'm really hoping that this isn't rock bottom for him just a rare occasion."

"Well for now let's leave it as it is. If he doesn't start to get better living on his own then I will step in and order him to live with you. I understand your concerns with his mental state we really don't know how he would react to living with someone. I still feel that him being in his own space will be better for him, however, if he can't be trusted to live on his own then I'll have to do something about it. For now let's just keep an eye on him and guide him through this. When he wakes up talk to him while he's sober see if you can get him to take baby steps like giving up drugs or drinking. Try and get him to quit one thing at a time and as for the smoking it really the least of our worries."

"I'm going to talk to him and see what was going on in his head the last day and a half for him to do this. I have a feeling it was the result of everything coming to a reality. The last three years he's been focusing on surviving and now that he has survived his mind can finally realise what he's gone through. Hopefully this was a onetime thing."

"Only time will really tell how far gone he is. I hope you are right that this was just a single occurrence and he'll get better but we can't be naive either in just assuming it is. This may very well be the seriousness of this situation Sasuke may be this far gone into the darkness."

"Hopefully not if it is though I'll be there for every step of the way. He's my first priority right now."

"Well you already know I won't be sending you out on any missions until he's more stable. I'm going to get going I'll see what I can do about the agents and you try and get him to write that report."

"I'll do my best."

Tsunade made her way out of the apartment to go back to her office. She needed to figure out how to go about informing the Higher Up that he has agents taking advantage of his ninja. Hopefully he will do something about it and those agents will have to face the consequences of their actions. Tsunade was also hoping that Sasuke wasn't worse than they originally thought that the drinking was just a rare occurrence and not a normal thing. Though at this point she couldn't say for sure that she believed it wasn't a usual thing for Sasuke to do. He had been through a lot in the last few years so it would only be natural for him to self-destruct anyone would. All she could do at this point was to wait and see how he does in the next few weeks. Only time will truly tell how he will end up.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Six hours later Sasuke began to wake up. He didn't even remember falling asleep but he knew he had gotten high and drunk. The major headache he had was a clear indication of that. His whole body felt like shit he needed a shot right now to balance it all out. He opened his eyes to find that he was lying down on his couch with Kakashi sitting next to him in his chair. Sasuke was confused he didn't remember Kakashi coming over at all. Sasuke slowly sat up putting a shaky hand on his head hoping that would for some reason help his headache.

"When did you get here?"

"This morning you've been asleep for six hours now."

"This morning? What are you doing here?"

"I told you the other day I was going to come over and see you today to check up on you. It was a good thing that I did or you would still be drunk and stoned out of your mind."

"What now you're judging me?"

"I'm not judging just saying you can't spend your days getting drunk and shooting up heroin. For example your report is still due tomorrow."

"I'll get it done I don't need a babysitter thanks."

"No what you need is a shower and food."

"I'm not hungry."

"Too bad you're gonna eat something. I don't know if you've noticed but you weigh almost nothing."

"I'm fine"

"Oh you are far from fine Sasuke."

Sasuke stood up and made his way into the kitchen to get a glass of water.

"What's with your attitude?" he asked Kakashi

"What's with my attitude?" Kakashi said as he stood up and went into the kitchen where Sasuke was.

"Yes your attitude if you haven't noticed you're in my house who the hell even gave you permission to be here."

"I had permission the second I walked in here and you were so drunk and high you could barely stand up! Not to mention this place was a mess you had empty liquor bottles and drugs all over the table. Syringes, used syringes on the table. You're sixteen years old and you're addicted to shooting up heroin to the point where you are beyond fucked up! And you are really going to stand there and ask me what is with my attitude?"

Kakashi was furious how could he not be he didn't even care that he was standing right in front of Sasuke screaming at him. He was so furious that he didn't even notice that Sasuke's shaking had gotten worse.

"Is this your plan to just be some drug addict for the rest of your life? Are you just going to shot up heroin until you overdose somewhere in a place where no one gives a dam about you? Is that you plan to deal with the last three years!"

Sasuke was having a difficult time breathing he was on the verge of having a panic attack. He couldn't handle someone yelling at him or yelling in general. Nothing good ever came from it and he couldn't stop the memories from coming to the front of his mind. Followed closely by his desire to shoot up right now to make then go away.

"I…I ne…need you to stop…stop ye… yelling pl…plea….please."

Kakashi didn't expect that to come out of Sasuke's mouth he was so far into rage that he didn't even notice Sasuke's reaction. He was shaking like a leaf in the wind, he was hyperventilating and stuttering. Kakashi could tell he was on the verge of a pain attack. Kakashi immediately stepped back giving Sasuke some room to calm down.

"Sasuke calm down and deep breaths okay. I'm sorry I wasn't thinking I was angry at this situation. I'm sorry I didn't mean to yell just take some deep breaths to slow your breathing down."

Sasuke slowly took a few deep breaths to try and calm his breathing down. With Kakashi now not right in front of him but backed off it was easier to catch his breath and calm down. After a few minutes his breathing was normal but he was still shaking.

"I can't handle yelling."

"Okay I'm sorry I didn't think."

"He used to yell when something didn't go his way or when he just woke up pissy that day. He would yell and pain always followed. The more he yelled the worse the torture would be and the longer it would last. The yelling I can't… the memories... his hands everywhere."

Sasuke started to hyperventilate Kakashi moved over so that he was closer to Sasuke he put his hands on Sasuke's arms and started to rub them.

"Calm down Sasuke deep breaths. It's only my hands on you. Just breathe."

After a few good deep breaths Sasuke's breathing turned back to normal. However, Kakashi still kept his hands on Sasuke's arms.

"Are you alright?"

Sasuke nodded his head "Ya I'm fine."

"Ok I'm sorry I didn't mean to yell I won't do it again no matter how mad I am. Its okay I'm sorry I'm just so frustrated and upset but not at you. It's not your fault that all this shit happened to you in any way. It's natural for you to be having problems afterwards I'm just… scared for you. Sasuke you're drinking hard liquor and shooting up heroin. I'm afraid that you're going downhill fast and I don't want you losing everything."

"I need to take a shower and write my report."

"Ok but you need to eat something to. How about we meet for dinner I can come back say around seven we can get something to eat. You can get out for a little while."

Sasuke seemed to think about it for a few minutes trying to decide what he wanted to do. He knew he needed more liquor and he knew he needed more drugs. He also knew that he would be hungry and maybe getting out for a little while with Kakashi wouldn't be such a bad idea.

"Ok I'll see you at seven."

"Ok make sure you write your report just get it over and done with."

"I'll do it after my shower."

"Ok I'll see you at seven I'll be home though if you need me."

"Mmhmm"

Kakashi made his way out of Sasuke's place he needed the fresh air to calm down anyways. He couldn't believe that he lost his temper at Sasuke. He forgot that Sasuke wasn't good with yelling now that he had been in the Sound. He figured Orochimaru would have yelled what he didn't know until today was that Orochimaru would torture Sasuke when he was yelling. No wonder Sasuke was so scared of someone yelling. Kakashi couldn't help but wonder if he couldn't handle yelling at him or just in general. He would have to ask him tonight when he saw him. He also needed to ask a few other questions about what happened so he has a better clue what to do and what not to do.

After Sasuke took a shower he worked on his report he tried to do it as quickly as possible for he wasn't feeling too great with. He didn't have any heroin left that he could find so he knew he would have to go and get some. The problem was he didn't want to go out during the day to make the deal but he didn't really have any other choice. So with his report for the Higher Up done he got his jacket on and headed out. He was hoping that Kovu would be out at this time of the day he really needed a fix otherwise he would be way too sick by seven for dinner with Kakashi. Sasuke got to the alley that he first met Kovu in and he was relieved to see him standing there. He quickly walked across the street and into the alley.

"Well well well look who it is. Back for more are you sexy?" Kovu said with a sly smile on his face.

"Only if you have any." Sasuke said he knew Kovu was trying to flirt with him. It didn't bother him after everything he went through in the Sound. A little flirting didn't bother him at all.

"Oh I got a lot."

"Maybe you should show me one day."

"I'm not sure you could handle it."

"I can handle anything. The question is could you handle what I got."

"Baby I could make you scream."

"Careful you keep talking to me like that and I'll make you prove it."

"Come over to my place tonight and I'll prove it all night long."

"I just might have to let you."

"How much you need? Same as last time?"

"Sounds good to me."

Sasuke said as he handed over the money that was owed and in return received his ounce of heroin.

"55 Lang Street I'll be there from nine o'clock on. Come by and I'll give you a night you'll never forget."

"Maybe I will."

Sasuke said as he walked off to head back to his place so he could shoot up. That's exactly what he did when he got back to his place. He still had three hours before Kakashi would be here so he didn't drink the new bottles of liquor he picked up as well. He cleaned up the house trying to keep busy so he wouldn't stop and think about what happened in the last three years. He couldn't stop thinking about Kovu he was only joking with him but the offer was tempting. It wouldn't be the first time he had meaningless sex he did it often to try and get rid of Orochimaru's hands off from him. Kovu was hot and depending on how this dinner with Kakashi was going to go he may just actually show up there tonight. After all meaningless sex, drugs and liquor it was the perfect cocktail to feel numb. It would also be nice to be around someone that wasn't judging him and giving him weird looks. Sure he was friends with Naruto and Sakura they were on a team after all, but they couldn't understand what happened to him. They couldn't understand how he felt and they definitely wouldn't understand him doing heroin.

Three hours later the house was spotless and he was all dressed and ready to go. He had shot up an hour ago so he wouldn't be shaking and to unfocused when he went out with Kakashi. Now he was pacing around the house with nothing to do trying to not think about the memories that were threatening to creep up on him. A few minutes later there was a knock on his door. Sasuke let out a sigh of relief at least with Kakashi here they could talk and he wouldn't have to think about the past. Sasuke opened the door to find Kakashi standing there.

"Hey"

"Hello Sasuke you ready to go?"

"Ya"

Sasuke walked out closing his door behind him and locking it. He had everything he needed in his pocket just in case he did decide to go out afterwards. They walked side by side each other for a few minutes in silence before Sasuke couldn't take it anymore and spoke.

"So where are we going?"

"I figured we could go to Sanji it's nice and quiet not a lot of people."

"Sounds good."

"Did you get you report done?"

"Ya it took forever if I had known they wanted a report for the last three years I would have kept track each day."

"Ya that's definitely not easy. I remember when I was younger I had a mission that was just over a yearlong by the time I had finished it. When I got back I found out that the report had to cover the whole year even of the things that didn't really matter. Of course I handed it in a few days late I just couldn't seem to bring myself to sit down and write it especially because I lived it."

"Ya nothing is more fun than re living the shit you don't want to remember."

"It gets easier as time goes on."

They arrived at the restaurant and got a seat in the back where they could be alone and not bothered by people that came in. Kakashi knew that Sasuke wasn't comfortable being back in the village yet. There was still too many looks from villagers and ones that feel he shouldn't be here after the Sound even though it was a mission. They ordered their drinks Sasuke ordered water he knew that after the last few days he would need to be careful of his water intake. It was all a balancing act when it came to the drinking and heroin one that he did very well. They sat in silence for a few minutes before Sasuke had to break it.

"So what was the mission?"

"The yearlong one?"

"Ya"

"I had to go undercover it was only supposed to be a few months but things started to appear that we didn't expect. They were smugglers and at first we thought they were only smuggling weapons and scrolls things like that. When it was time to end it the ring leader approached me and said he had a new shipment, that he wanted me to take care of. He then explained to me that the shipment was orphans young as five years old. They were smuggling weapons and scrolls as a front for the fact that they were smuggling children to the sex trade. So I reported it and I was instructed to stay in and six months later I was finally able to put an end to it and all the major players were taken care of."

"Wow that must have been hard."

"It was especially because I was only nineteen and seeing all these young innocent children being sold and traded and not be able to do anything. I wanted to kill every single person that came by to see a child or take them. I don't understand what goes through an adult's mind that says that's okay."

"There are a lot of people out there that don't care."

"I'm sure you've seen a lot worse than what I have."

"You know you expect the bad ones to hurt you, lie and be bad. What is worse is when it's the good ones that turn bad. When the ones that are supposed to help you and protect you turn around and become a bad one. You can't really trust anyone these days; everyone has a price it seems like."

"I can understand that especially where you've been the last three years its natural for you to feel that way and to think everyone can't be trusted. You can trust me though."

"I'm trying I didn't think it would be this hard."

"Trusting me?"

"No, well yes but I mean everything. The last three years all I could think about was leaving and coming back home. Now that I'm here it so hard to be here. Everything is different people are different and I don't really know where to be. Tsunade doesn't want me doing missions right now so I can't get away when I need to. Naruto and Sakura they have changed so much and at the same time they haven't. They're still innocent and naïve, they still believe in the good in the world. They wouldn't understand. I don't know why but I thought everything would stay the same that I could come back and just go back to how it used to be."

"I know it's hard for you, you've been gone for three years and so much can change in that amount of time. Naruto and Sakura though they still care about you they still look up to you and rely on you. They might be more mature and stronger than they were three years ago but I assure you their personalities are very much the same. You could also make new friends ones that you didn't really know before you left that might help you feel more at home."

"Ya because I'm a social butterfly." Sasuke joked and Kakashi smiled at that comment.

"True, but it couldn't hurt to try."

"Yes it could. Are you kidding me with my luck I'll become friends with some serial killer."

"I don't think Konoha has any serial killers."

"How would you know?"

"Fair enough."

It felt good to just be joking around with Sasuke after so long. It was nice to see him smirk and even give a small smile every now and then. Even though Kakashi knew he was high, but that was ok for right now.

"I know you don't want to talk about anything that happened in the Sound. However I need to know a few things so that what happened earlier today doesn't happen again. The last thing I want to do is cause you to have a pain attack."

"I don't like yelling."

"Ok in general or just towards you?"

"In general even if it's not at me, just someone angry and yelling."

"Ok anything else?"

"Crowds I don't like a lot of people around me."

"Why?"

"He used to have parties with hundreds of people. He would tie me up in the middle of the room I guess I was the entertainment. They … I can't I can't talk about this."

"Ok that's okay. We don't have to talk about it. Is there anything else that might cause you to have a panic attack?"

"No at least not that I know of."

"Alright thank you for telling me. Like I said I don't want to do something that will cause you to have an attack. I want to help you get better not worse."

"Can we just talk about something else please?"

"Definitely."

The rest of the dinner was done with small talk. Kakashi telling Sasuke what he had spent the last three years doing. They talked about how things have changed and how the village was doing. Kakashi made sure he didn't bring up anything that had to do with the Sound or Sasuke's past three years. He could understand that it would be difficult for him to speak about it. He also understood the need to not talk about it and to talk about normal everyday things. Kakashi was more than happy to give him that. Kakashi knew that he should be talking about rehabs and getting Sasuke off the heroin. However, he knew he couldn't force Sasuke into doing it. The best thing he could do right now was act like everything was okay until Sasuke realised that he couldn't do this anymore. As wrong as it might sound Kakashi had to just act like he was alright with Sasuke doing drugs. If he didn't then when Sasuke was in trouble or needed his help to get clean he wouldn't turn to him. So for now Kakashi would be his friend and be there for when he needed him. Even if it hurt seeing Sasuke like this. After two hours they had finished their dinner and were heading out.

"You can come over if you want spend the night?" Kakashi asked hoping he could keep Sasuke in his sights for a little longer.

"Thanks but I think I'm just gonna head home. All that lack of sleep is starting to catch up to me. I feel like I could sleep for a week straight right now."

"That's how it usually works. Once your body isn't on point all the time usually that's when everything hits you and you suddenly realise how exhausted you are. It's happened to me before from long missions where you have to watch your back all the time."

"Ya maybe I'll come by tomorrow though."

"Sure you're always welcomed any time Sasuke."

"Ok well I'll see you tomorrow then thank you for tonight it was nice to be out of the house for a little while."

"You know where to find me if you need me."

With that Sasuke gave a nod and walked off towards his desired location. He wasn't going back home he was heading over to Kovu's place. It was nine o'clock so he would be there after seeing Kakashi and talking about the past a little bit he really needed a distraction now. Kovu would be perfect for that he could do drugs and get his brains fucked out at the same time exactly what he needed to make the hands go away. He got to the house and he knocked on the door after a moment Kovu answered. He was hoping that Sasuke would show up tonight. He couldn't believe when he saw Sasuke in that alley that first night. The Uchiha Sasuke was addicted to heroin it was just too good to be true and now tonight he could make him his.

"Hey sexy come on in."

Sasuke gave a smile and walked into the house. There was no one else there but in the living room there was liquor and drugs all over the place Sasuke knew tonight would be a great night.

"You're all alone eh?"

"Ya I live alone I am twenty-one after all. Though if you're feeling adventurous I could have someone else to come over and party with us."

"I'd think you'd like that way too much. But be my guest if you can't make me scream all on your own."

"Hm oh I'll make you scream all night long."

"Can't wait." Sasuke said as he sat down on the couch.

"Well now let get this party started you look like you could use a hit."

"Very much so."

Kovu sat down beside Sasuke and got a hit ready for Sasuke. He then turned to him with the needle ready.

"Give me your arm."

"Why?"

"I love shooting up someone. I love the power it gives me and I love watching as the drugs go through their body."

Sasuke took his jacket off and pulled off the wrist band he had over his elbow to hide the track marks. He held his arm out to Kovu and watched as he put the needle into his veins. It was instant he could feel the heroin going through his body the feeling was amazing.

"Fuck you are so sexy looking like this." Kovu said

He wasn't going to wait any longer he moved over and pushed Sasuke down so he was on his back and leaned over him. Kovu claimed Sasuke's mouth. The kiss was rough and heated you could feel the lust he had for Sasuke. Tonight he was going to fuck him stupid he was going to make sure that Sasuke couldn't walk for a few days afterwards. Kovu grind his hips down on Sasuke's crotch making Sasuke moan. Kovu shoved his tongue in Sasuke's mouth he took dominance over Sasuke he was his bitch and no one else's. Kovu wasn't going to wait any longer. He took off Sasuke's shirt and he began to take off his pants as Sasuke did the same to him. Kovu was already hard and so was Sasuke.

"Turn around I want you on your knees with that sweet ass of yours in the air."

Sasuke did as he was told he turned around and bent down so his face was against the seat and his ass in the air. Kovu didn't waste any time to prepare him or to even use lube he loved it rough he just pushed into Sasuke's tight ass in one go. Sasuke screamed at the sudden pain that shot through him.

"Mmm I told you I would make you scream tonight. Fuck your ass is so tight."

Kovu was relentless he thrusted into Sasuke with everything he had. He loved the feel of Sasuke's tight ass and as he hit Sasuke's sweet spot Sasuke moaned. Kovu kept aiming for that same spot loving the sounds that Sasuke was making.

"Fuck you sound like a whore when you make those sounds I love it. Fuck you are mine and only mine."

Sasuke moaned to what Kovu had said

"Say it tell me you're mine."

"Fuck I'm yours."

"Tell me you're my whore."

"Mmm I'm your whore oh fuck harder."

"Mmm ya"

Kovu pushed into Sasuke as hard as he could he wanted to go as deep as possible into the tight heat. Kovu kept smacking his ass as hard as he could making it red. Sasuke was sure there would be bruises tomorrow. Kovu bent forward more so he could get a better angle to go even deeper. He put his right hand around the back of Sasuke's neck in a bruising grip.

"Play with yourself as I fuck you. Show me how much of a whore you are."

Sasuke kept moaning he went to start to jerk himself off as Kovu pounded into him. He could feel himself getting close and sure enough he cam follow by Kovu a few minutes later. Kovu pulled out of Sasuke and sat back down on the couch.

"Fuck you feel so good."

Sasuke moved to he was on his back looking at Kovu.

"Well now I need a shower."

"I'll join you."

Kovu said as he held out a shot of tequila to Sasuke as he had one in his other hand. They both downed the shot and got up to head to the bathroom to shower. That's how the night went from there on they had sex again in the shower got out and drank and Sasuke shot up heroin while Kovu snorted crystal. They didn't sleep they didn't eat and by the time Sasuke even realised what time it was he had been in that house with Kovu for the last two days straight on a binge and having rough sex. Sasuke got dressed and headed out Kovu gave him an ounce as a parting gift and said he would see Sasuke later. Sasuke just gave a smile as he headed out the door and towards home. His body was all sore from the rough sex and the injuries that he had gotten from the Sound. The sunlight hurt his eyes and he felt like shit not sleeping the last two days and barely sleeping the weeks before that was definitely taking a toll on him now. Sasuke wasn't even looking up as a result he walked right into someone.

"Sorry" Sasuke said as he looked up to see who he walked into and sure enough it was Kakashi.

"Oh hey."

"Hello you look like death." Kakashi said with concern in his voice.

"I feel like death."

"Where have you been the last two days?"

"Oh friend's place. Now I'm heading home. What about you?"

"I was actually on my way to check on you. Come on I'll walk you home and make sure you don't die on the way."

"Geez thanks."

Kakashi was joking about Sasuke dying on the way home but he truly was concerned that it might actually happen. Sasuke was unbelievably pale, he had dark circles under his eyes and he even had some bite marks on his neck that was surprisingly making Kakashi mad. He had no claim over Sasuke at all, but that didn't stop the feel of jealousy that came over him. He knew it was wrong to feel jealousy over a sixteen year old but Kakashi couldn't help it. Over the last three years he hadn't been able to get that night out of his mind. It was wrong on so many levels but when they had sex it felt so right like they were meant to be. Kakashi spent many months scolding himself for enjoying as much as he did Sasuke was just a thirteen year old boy and he shouldn't have enjoyed it. Kakashi hated himself for months upon months after that, but finally he just accepted that it was the person he enjoyed and not the age attached to said person. Now Sasuke was sixteen years old and even more attractive than he had been three years ago. And he couldn't help the jealousy that devoured him at the site of those bite marks, those angry red painful looking marks. Kakashi found himself fighting the urge to take Sasuke and reclaim him for himself and remind him of how good it can feel. They didn't speak a single word on the way to Sasuke's place Kakashi couldn't bring himself to talk about this in public. He needed to know what Sasuke had done the last two days, but he also knew this wasn't a conversation to have outside where anyone could hear. They finally got to Sasuke's place and once inside Sasuke automatically headed for the couch and collapsed down onto it. Kakashi took the chair beside the couch like he did last time so he could see Sasuke. Though, Kakashi didn't waste any time in asking Sasuke a question.

"So who is your new friend?"

"Just some guy I met a few days ago."

"You've only been back a few days."

"Ya I met him on my way home after dinner with everyone."

"So what's his name?"

"Kovu"

Sasuke was lying down he had his eyes closed but he couldn't seem to fall asleep and it had nothing to do with Kakashi's questions. His whole body was sore and stiff from the last two days especially his ass. Kovu had been extremely rough with him and it got rougher the more he did it. Not that Sasuke minded at the time it was exactly what he needed. He needed the meaningless sex to get rid of Orochimaru's hands for a little while which it did. Now though his whole body ached and it was hard to get comfortable not to mention he felt like shit for drinking and doing heroin the last two days straight. Usually when he did shoot up he would only do it every four hours, though the last two days he was doing it every couple hours. Kovu kept shooting him up and he knew that he would be paying for it when he got home. Sasuke moved so he was lying on his left side facing into the room and Kakashi. Kakashi noticed the whimper that escaped Sasuke's mouth as he moved onto his side.

"You ok?"

"Ya just sore injuries still haven't really healed yet some days are worse than others. Today would be a bad day."

"What hurts?"

"Everything"

"You should take a hot bath it will help."

"Alone? Where's the fun in that?"

Kakashi could feel his dick getting hard by that simple statement. God he wanted Sasuke he wanted to make him moan and feel amazing. He wanted to remind Sasuke what it felt like to be cared for and loved. How good sex can feel without pain.

"What did you do the last two days?"

"I told you I was at a friend's place."

"Ya but what did you two do for the two days?"

"Just hung out."

"Doing?"

"Things you'd lecture me about."

"Did you sleep with him?"

"Does that matter?"

"It's just a question."

"Yes okay I went on a binge I didn't plan on it but it happened. I spent the last two days drinking, shooting up and having sex. So just get the lecture out of your system."

"I knew you had been drinking and doing drugs from the way you look. As for the sex I already figured that out by the deep swollen bite marks on your neck. What I don't understand is why you would put yourself through all that rough sex and pain after everything that happened to you in the last three years."

"It makes the hands go away for a little while."

"But you're just replacing the hands Sasuke and not with good ones. I know it's hard and you must feel horrible for a lack of a better word but you can't keep doing this. I can't even imagine what Orochimaru did to you what he made you do I can understand you wanting the hands to go away. But you're not making them go away you're just replacing them with ones that are still hurting you. Sex isn't supposed to hurt Sasuke."

Sasuke slowly opened his eyes he was so tired that he couldn't open the all the way. He knew what Kakashi was saying made sense but he couldn't seem to stop. It worked for the time being and in the moment he couldn't focus on the big picture just whatever he could do to get through each day.

"I don't remember what it feels like when it doesn't hurt." Sasuke whispered almost to himself but Kakashi heard him.

Kakashi got up and headed into the bathroom and started the water. He made sure it was hot but not too hot to hurt. Sasuke didn't even notice him leaving he had closed his eyes again trying to will sleep to him but he didn't have any luck. He couldn't understand his body was beyond exhausted and yet he couldn't sleep. That fear was still there of what might happen to him if he did fall asleep. A few minutes later Kakashi came back out after filling up the tub with nice hot water. He saw Sasuke roll onto his back the look of pain didn't go unnoticed. Kakashi walked over so he could help Sasuke stand up.

"Come on you need a bath the hot water will help."

Sasuke opened his eyes to find Kakashi standing right next to him.

"I told you baths are no fun alone." Sasuke said jokingly if he was being honest with himself a bath sounded amazing at that point. Kakashi knew that Sasuke was joking but that didn't mean that he couldn't joke right back.

"Who said anything about you being in there alone?"

"Oh really now and who would be going in there with me?"

"Well if you don't mind my little friend then me."

"Oh your friend is far from little."

Kakashi smiled at that comment he knew it was true he was very much well endowed. He held out a hand to Sasuke to help him up. Which Sasuke took the offering hand. They walked into the bathroom where both stripped their clothing off. Kakashi couldn't believe the bruises that still covered Sasuke's pale skin nor could he believe how many bite marks he had on his neck and chest. He also noticed the new bruise on his butt from someone smacking it so hard. Whoever this Kovu was was definitely not gentle in any way, shape or form with Sasuke. That thought broke Kakashi's heart to think that Sasuke thought that little of himself to be hurt and used like that. They got into the tub with Kakashi behind Sasuke so he could wrap his arms around him. The water was so nice and hot Sasuke found himself leaning back against Kakashi's chest and closing his eyes. He hated to admit it but this felt amazing he felt cared for. Kakashi wrapped his arms around Sasuke and just held him Sasuke fit so perfectly against his chest it was like he was made for it. That's when Kakashi noticed the bruise on the back of his neck in the shape of a hand. He was held down sometime during the last two days. Kakashi could feel his anger rising at the site of these new bruises that this Kovu guy put on Sasuke. Kakashi could understand rough sex but this was extreme to leave that many marks on him.

"Sasuke what's with this bruise of a hand on the back of your neck?"

"Oh it's nothing. I didn't even know it was there."

"How did it get there though?"

"From Kovu."

"Why would he hold you down?"

"He didn't he put his hand there a few times during the last two days."

"And why would he do that?"

"What you've never had rough sex before?"

"I have not two days of rough sex nor have I ever left any marks on the other person."

"Hmm. You were right this does help."

Kakashi couldn't help but notice the sudden change in topics. He would have to be brain dead not to notice it. He would ask Sasuke later though why he put up with it, even if he had to do it when he was high and his mouth was loose.

"I told you it would make your body less sore."

"I don't understand why you care."

"Why wouldn't I care about you?"

"Because I'm not worth it."

"Yes you are if you weren't worth it I wouldn't waste my time with you. I don't know what happened to you in the Sound or what Orochimaru said to you. I can honestly say with everything in me that you are worth it."

"I don't feel that way."

"I know and it's going to take a while before you do. And I will be there every day to tell you that you are worth it."

Sasuke turned his head to the side and up so he was looking at Kakashi but still in his arms. Kakashi looked down at Sasuke he looked so fragile and yet broken at the same time. He couldn't stop himself he moved his head down and gently placed his lips on Sasuke's. Sasuke responded immediately. This kiss was different than Sasuke was used to it was soft and gentle yet so full of passion at the same time. Kakashi didn't force dominance onto him he just kissed him and let Sasuke take control. Sasuke moaned when he felt Kakashi's tongue at his lips asking for entrance which Sasuke more than happily gave him. Sasuke moved so he was now straddling Kakashi's lap he could feel Kakashi's hard on between his legs. Kakashi moved his hand so it was cupping the left side of Sasuke's face the other rested on Sasuke's right thigh. Sasuke started to rock his hips back and forth against Kakashi's crotch making both of them moan in ecstasy. Kakashi broke the kiss and started to kiss down Sasuke's neck making sure he kissed each bite mark.

"Oh Sasuke."

"Mmmm"

Neither could take it anymore Kakashi moved Sasuke's hips so that his entrance was positioned right where his rock hard cock was.

"Go slow"

Kakashi told Sasuke he didn't want Sasuke to hurt any more than he already was. If it wasn't for the lust taking over Kakashi's body he wouldn't be letting Sasuke do this after two days of rough sex. Kakashi knew that Sasuke had to be sore even if he didn't show it. Sasuke slowly pushed himself down onto Kakashi's cock. He took Kakashi's advice and took it slow he had to admit this felt amazing it was nice to be in control for once. To be able to go as slow as he wanted so he wouldn't be ripped apart. Once Kakashi was all the way inside of him he just sat there getting used to Kakashi's large size. Kakashi began kissing him again loving the feeling of being in Sasuke. Slowly Sasuke began to rock his hips back and forth as he kissed Kakashi. When he couldn't take it anymore he began to slowly move up and down Kakashi's cock making sure he hit his sweet spot each time. Sasuke had never felt anything like this before it was slow and gentle and it drove him crazy. He didn't think about anything just the amazing feeling going through his body. Sasuke began to pick up the pace slightly he put his head back as he moaned. Kakashi took the opportunity to attack Sasuke's neck kissing it all over.

"Oh fuck Kakashi."

Kakashi moaned he loved hearing Sasuke say his name breathlessly. Kakashi moved his hand down so he could stroke Sasuke to completion. Sasuke began moaning even more with Kakashi touching him. He couldn't even remember the last time someone touched him it all felt so dam good he knew he wasn't going to last long.

"Oh Sasuke you feel amazing."

"Mmm… oh please don't stop I'm so close god it feels so good."

"Come for me baby I want to feel you tighten around me."

Sasuke moaned and started to move faster making sure he took Kakashi deep inside of him.

"Mmm that's it god you're gonna make me cum if you keep doing that."

Sasuke couldn't stop moaning everything just felt amazing it was like his body was in over drive. After a few more strokes Sasuke cam calling Kakashi's name with it. Kakashi could feel Sasuke tighten around him pushing him over the edge.

"Oh Sasuke."

Sasuke kept riding Kakashi making sure he got everything he could out of him. Kakashi began to kiss Sasuke he wasn't ready to pull out of him yet. Sasuke pulled away from the kiss after a few minutes and placed his head against Kakashi's chest as Kakashi wrapped his arms around him rubbing his back.

"I'm gonna have to let you take baths with me more often." Sasuke joked

Kakashi let out a small chuckle to that, He knew later he would be grilling himself for letting his lust get the best of him.

"I honestly don't think I could say no to you."

"Hmmm I don't wanna move this feels too good."

"Tell you what how about we move to the bed that way we can lie down and you can sleep."

"Not allowed to be in a bed." Sasuke said half awake.

"Yes you are. You can sleep in a bed you're allowed remember this isn't the Sound. I'll be right there beside you holding you the whole time."

"Promise?"

"I give you my word Sasuke."

"Ok I'll try."

"That's all I ask for."

"We have to move now don't we?"

"Yes we do."

Sasuke groaned as he moved off of Kakashi he noticed for the first time that he was trembling. It had been a good four hours since his last hit and after doing it every two hours for the last two days the withdrawals were coming in full force. Kakashi noticed how sick Sasuke had gotten over the last few minutes concern filled his voice.

"Sasuke when was the last time you shot up?"

"Um four hours ago."

"Ho often were you doing it the last couple of days?"

"Like every two hours."

Kakashi let out a sigh he didn't want to ask this question but he also knew that Sasuke would be too sick to sleep if he didn't. Going cold turkey off opiates was too dangerous at this point Sasuke had to be whined off.

"Do you need to do any?"

"Ya otherwise I'll wake up and be really sick."

"Ok well let's get out you can do that while I wait for you in bed."

"Sounds good."

Sasuke got up and out first followed by Kakashi. They both dried off and put their boxers on Kakashi headed to the bedroom as Sasuke pulled out what he needed out of his pant pocket. After shooting up he got up and headed to the bedroom where sure enough Kakashi was under the covers waiting for him. Sasuke stood by the door just looking at the bed he knew that Kakashi would keep him safe but he just couldn't seem to make his mind believe that.

"It's okay I promise you can do this."

Kakashi told Sasuke he knew once he got Sasuke in bed that he would fall asleep. High or not Sasuke was beyond exhausted he would fall asleep almost instantly. Sasuke gave a nod and headed over to the bed. He crawled in and curled up to Kakashi immediately. Kakashi wrapped his arms around Sasuke and held him close.

"Feel better?"

"Ya at least I won't be sick."

"Good. Do you ever do it sometimes because you don't want to be sick?"

"Sure there are times when I don't really feel like doing it but I need to. Usually when I feel like that I just do as little as I can so I don't get sick but I don't get high either."

"So why not just stop?"

"Because I'm not ready for that yet."

"Ok"

Kakashi kissed the top of Sasuke's head and held him close to his chest. Sasuke closed his eyes trying to will sleep to come. Though, it didn't take long because sure enough a few minutes later he was fast asleep in Kakashi's safe warm embrace.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Ten hours later Kakashi could feel Sasuke begin to wake up. Kakashi had woken up an hour or so ago. He couldn't bring himself to wake Sasuke up he looked horrible when he saw him that morning Kakashi knew he needed sleep. The whole time Kakashi was awake he was trying to figure out what to do about this situation. Kakashi knew he would regret having sex with Sasuke at the time it just felt so amazing. Kakashi had had sex before with many different men and women at one point, but none had ever felt that good like Sasuke. There was something about Sasuke that Kakashi couldn't get passed. It felt amazing to be with him the level of intimacy was indescribable his entire body and soul felt complete when he was with Sasuke. If Sasuke had been older and in a different mindset then Kakashi wouldn't have any regrets or doubts about this. The problem was Sasuke was just sixteen and back after three years in the Sound. Three years of dealing with Orochimaru and his rules. Two years of being a heroin addict. Sasuke wasn't in the right mindset he was just looking for ways to make the hands go away. Kakashi had to do the right thing he couldn't let Sasuke be manipulated by what he feels. Right now he's just looking for that escape and Kakashi couldn't risk doing that again with him or he wouldn't be able to ever say no to it. Already his body was craving for another round, but he couldn't he had to be there for Sasuke in a friend capacity only. Maybe when he gets older Kakashi could revaluate but for right now he couldn't.

Sasuke let out a small moan as he began to enter the world of the living again. He was feeling alright for now his body wasn't in too much pain at the moment and the withdrawals hadn't kicked in yet. It usually started when he was awake for a little while. Sasuke saw that he was still on Kakashi's chest and in the bed. Sasuke looked up and saw Kakashi awake and looking at him.

"Hey"

"Hello how are you feeling?"

"Fine right now. What time is it?"

"It's nine at night. We slept ten hours."

"I'm surprised I don't feel like shit right now."

"Does it usually happen right when you wake up?"

"Not right away no unless it's been a day since my last one."

"I should get going I have a few things I need to take care of."

Kakashi said as he began to sit up making Sasuke move in the process. Sasuke didn't waste a second he moved so he was straddling the now sitting Kakashi.

"Well allow me to take care of one of those things."

Sasuke said right before he began to kiss Kakashi. Kakashi was surprised by the sudden change in positions that it took him a minute before he placed his hands on Sasuke's arms. He gently pushed them back so Sasuke had to stop kissing him. Kakashi knew he had to do this fast or else he wouldn't see this through.

"Sasuke stop we can't do this again."

"Hmm judging by what I feel underneath me I'd say you can."

Sasuke grinded his hips down on Kakashi's hard on he started rocking his hips. Kakashi moved his hands so they were now on Sasuke's hips making him stop his movements.

"Sasuke I'm serious we can't do this again."

Sasuke let out a breath clearly annoyed.

"And why can't we do this again?"

"This morning was a mistake one that I regret very much so. It shouldn't have ever happened."

"A mistake. Last time I checked when someone regrets having sex with someone they aren't hard underneath that person. You want it otherwise your dick wouldn't be twitching at the thought of being inside of me again. You can't tell me you don't want it."

"Just because my body is reacting to what you're doing doesn't mean I want it. Your too young Sasuke and after the last three years you're not in the right mindset right now. I will be there for you when you need a friend and when you need to talk, but as for sex it won't happen again. I regret it very much and it should have never had happened."

Sasuke got up off from Kakashi and stood up he was pissed at what Kakashi was saying. He felt used and worse he felt like Kakashi had teased him with something that felt good for a change.

"So what you just thought you'd see how good I got at it over the last three years? I wasn't too young this morning and I wasn't too young when I was thirteen."

Sasuke was now standing at the foot of the bed with his hands on the footboard. Kakashi didn't say anything he honestly didn't know what to say. Sasuke had every right to be upset and feel that way.

"What was this morning then huh? Telling me how good it can feel asking me if I remember how it can feel like. You're all sweet and gentle and now this shit telling me you regret it, but we can still be friends. Are you fucking kidding me?

"Sasuke…"

"You just dangled this jewel in my face then ripped it away. I knew Orochimaru and his men were out to hurt me. I knew they were all assholes but you actually had me believing that you cared. When all you were looking for was just a fuck."

"Sasuke that's not…"

"Get the hell out."

Kakashi let out a sigh and got up. He grabbed his clothes that he had placed on the floor after the bath. He put them on and then turned to speak to Sasuke one more time.

"Sasuke I get your upset you get to be. I wasn't looking to hurt you or just to sleep with you. I do care about you that's why I'm doing this. You need to heal from what happened in the Sound and sleeping with people isn't the right way to do it. You're confused and hurt and you have every right to be after what happened to you…"

"Don't. Don't you dare talk like you know what I went through in the last three years. Don't you dare."

Sasuke's voice was low and filled with dangerous venom dripping throughout it. Kakashi had certainly struck a nerve one that he didn't intentionally meant to do.

"You're right I don't know what you went through. What I do know is that you need to get over that before you start anything with someone your own age."

"You don't get to tell me what's right and wrong. It's yours and Tsunade's fault that I'm like this. Neither one of you could protect me so I had to go and be trapped underground with that psychotic pedophile for three years. Now you want to protect me? Where were you when he had me tied up getting raped by the highest bidder? Where were you when he was torturing me for months straight? Where were you every god dam fucking night I had to feel his hands on me? Huh? Where you? I don't need your protection now I needed it then. You don't get to tell me what's the right way in dealing with it all especially when you have no idea what he did to me. Now get the hell out!"

Kakashi couldn't help but stand there in complete and utter shock. He couldn't for the life of him ever remember Sasuke yelling. Sure he's raised his voice from time to time but never actually yelled. Kakashi was sure it had to do partially with the withdrawals that he was sure were setting in. Still it hurt hearing what Sasuke had to say even though Kakashi knew he needed to get it out. Three years of pent up pain and anger it was bound to come out eventually. If this would help make Sasuke feel even a little bit better then Kakashi would take it. He knew Sasuke didn't blame him for what happened he knew that in his heart. Sure Kakashi believed he was to blame for this mess he wasn't going to deny that nor would he deny that he wasn't strong enough to kill Orochimaru. Kakashi knew he had let Sasuke down just like Tsunade knew she let him down. If Sasuke needed someone to blame someone to direct his anger at then Kakashi was alright with that he could take the heat. After all Sasuke couldn't direct his anger to Orochimaru he was dead. As for the Agents Sasuke couldn't yell at them or be pissed with them for one they weren't here enough and two they could do something to him. If Kakashi needed to be the target then so be it he could handle it. Even if that meant he would have to spend a few meals a week with Iruka talking about it all. Kakashi knew he shouldn't push Sasuke anymore so he just gave a nod and turned to leave Sasuke's place. He had pushed enough for one day now he needed Sasuke to calm down and he knew that Sasuke needed a hit. Kakashi knew he couldn't just fix the drug problem he had to fix everything that was causing the drug problem. As he walked out the door he was really hoping that he didn't ruin the friendship that they had been building. If that happened then he couldn't say for sure that Sasuke would come to him when he was in trouble or wanting help. All Kakashi really could do now was wait for Sasuke to come to him. In the meantime that didn't mean that he wouldn't keep an eye on Sasuke even at a distance. Kakashi failed to protect him back then he would be dam if he made the same mistake twice. Deciding that he needed to talk to someone to calm down himself and help get his thoughts together Kakashi headed to Iruka's place.

Sasuke was shaking he was so pissed off at what Kakashi had just done to him. He was talking like Sasuke was so vulnerable and yet he doesn't even realise what he did to him. By showing him something he knows he won't ever have again wasn't going to help him. Kakashi didn't understand it wasn't just about the hands not being there it was more than that. For the first time he felt safe by someone else's touch he felt cared for. It wasn't the sex it was the intimacy that he felt with Kakashi and only Kakashi. Kakashi made it feel good and let Sasuke take control of it and for that little bit Sasuke cold actually forget about everything. For that time Sasuke could actually breathe and feel normal. Right now Sasuke felt overwhelmed and betrayed. Kakashi acted like what happened meant nothing to him; and that's what made Sasuke feel used. Feeling used was one of the most painful feelings Sasuke had ever had it's what Orochimaru made him feel the most. Sasuke couldn't stop the memories flooding his mind he needed it to stop and for that there was only one way. Sasuke went to shoot up once he did he was going to get dressed and go see Kovu. He had to get this feeling gone and Kovu was perfect for that.

Kakashi knocked on Iruka's door it was just after nine thirty at night and Kakashi knew he would still be up. Even if he wasn't Iruka never minded being woken up by Kakashi. They had been friends for a long time after all. A few minutes later Iruka came to the door with a cup of tea in his hand.

"Oh hello Kakashi."

"Hello Iruka. Mind if I come in there's something I need to talk about."

"Not at all you know you're always welcome."

Iruka moved back so he could open the door enough for Kakashi to come inside. Iruka went to his couch and sat down placing the cup of tea on the table. Kakashi joined him on the couch.

"So what's on your mind?"

"I made a huge mistake with Sasuke."

"How is Sasuke? I haven't seen him myself but from what I've heard from Naruto and the others he doesn't sound to be doing too well."

"He's not and there's a lot that the others don't know. He's not okay at all and I think I just made it worse."

"Alright well tell me what happened."

"What I tell you can't leave us."

"It never has and it never will you know that."

"Sasuke is addicted to heroin."

"Heroin? As in the illegal street drug heroin?"

"Ya he injects it every four hours."

"He's just sixteen."

"He's been doing it for two years now."

Iruka couldn't believe this. Sasuke was his student he's known Sasuke since he was six years old he would have never thought Sasuke would be a drug addict. This blew his mind away to think that Sasuke was so desperate to turn to drugs in the Sound. Iruka knew the second he found out Sasuke was on a mission in the Sound that he wouldn't come back okay from it. After all no one would it was the Sound for Christ sakes a place where no child should ever have to step foot in. Yet here was poor little Sasuke in the Sound all by himself. Iruka had spoken to Naruto ha came by that first night after they went to dinner to tell him how it all went. Naruto was disappointed that Sasuke seemed uninterested in what they had to say. But Iruka helped Naruto see that maybe Sasuke was just exhausted and overwhelmed. Iruka then explained to Naruto a little bit of what goes on in the Sound so maybe he would understand where Sasuke was coming from. In the end Naruto did understand that Sasuke would be different for a little while. That he needed to give Sasuke some space and let him adjust back into everything. Naruto had agreed that he would give Sasuke a few days before going to see him. He was disappointed but he understood how it might be difficult for Sasuke.

"What happened?"

"It was six months into the Sound when Sasuke started to use different drugs. He had tried a few others before the heroin. There was this guy that was ordered to watch Sasuke while Orochimaru was gone. He shot Sasuke up for the first time and ever since then Sasuke has been addicted to it. He says when he got shot up that first time everything went quiet and numb. He said he couldn't feel anything and for the first time since he started the mission he could breathe. Ever since then he hasn't stopped its only gotten worse. This morning he got back from a two day binge or liquor, drugs and sex with this new friend of his named Kovu. He met him the night after we all went to dinner. My best guess is that this Kovu guy is a drug dealer that's how they met."

"I just I can't believe he's addicted to heroin of all things for a child to be addicted to. I know he's sixteen but he was just fourteen when he started. The damage it must have done to his body so far."

"I'm not too sure if it's done any damage to his body I can imagine it has had an effect on his liver. If that hasn't I'm sure the binge drinking has. He's so messed up right now I just want to fix him but I can't and I think I made it worse."

"How?"

Kakashi took a deep breath he knew he could tell Iruka anything and he wouldn't judge him. This was just hard to talk about it really wouldn't be if Sasuke was older. The problem was he was sixteen and very vulnerable right now. His mind was confused and he was looking for something to make his problems better hence the drinking and the heroin.

"I slept with him this morning."

"Ok define slept"

"I had sex with him in the bath tub."

"How did you get in the tub together?"

"I was on the way to his place to check on him I hadn't seen him in the last two days. Like I said he went on a binge with this Kovu person. I walked him home and he looked terrible I couldn't believe how bad he looked. He had bite marks all over his neck and chest, he had more bruising and even a bruise on the back of his neck in the shape of a hand. This Kovu guy is trouble and I know Sasuke is going to get worse if he continues to see him. He was in pain and sore from his previous injuries and new ones so I suggested he take a bath. He made a joke saying that it wasn't any fun alone and after a few minutes I don't know what happened or why I did it but I went in with him. Next thing I know we're kissing and having sex."

"Ahh Kakashi what are you going to do?"

"We went to bed and we just got up at nine I told him it was a mistake that I regret it. He didn't take it well he… asked if I was trying to see how he's improved since he was thirteen."

"Thirteen?"

"Tsunade and myself were there when the Agents told Sasuke he had to go on this mission. Afterwards I showed him how to kill I knew Orochimaru would be expecting him to do it. I also figured it wouldn't hurt for him to know how he would need to protect himself after all. That night I had him come over to my place I told him there was one more thing I needed to teach him. He came over that night and I started with kissing then we worked our way up to sex. I knew Orochimaru would rape him and I told him that. He understood why we had to do that and I didn't want him thinking that sex was supposed to hurt. I didn't want his first time being getting raped by Orochimaru. I know that's probably wrong but I couldn't do that to him."

"You aren't wrong Orochimaru would have raped him and if you didn't do that he would have believed sex hurts. Which isn't healthy and he would have been scared of it for the rest of his life. However, now he thinks you just used him like everyone else would have in the Sound correct?"

"Basically yes. I told him I would always be there for him as a friend but nothing more could ever happen. What I hate right now is the fact that I want something more to happen. I hate myself for it but I do want something more to happen. He's sixteen and its wrong but there's just something about it I can't explain it. The level of intimacy it's intense I've never felt anything like it before with anyone."

"Yes he's sixteen, but that's not the main issue the main issue is what's happened to him in the past. He has some serious traumas right now being with you could confuse him. He doesn't know what he's feeling or what's right. Not only that he's a heroin addict he's not stable right now. You did the right thing saying no to him. Maybe when he gets over what happened and not addicted to heroin you can rethink your decision but for now you can't."

"I know I know. That's why I said no even though I really wanted to. I want to be there for him to help him go through withdrawals when he chooses to quit. I really don't want him around Kovu and I have a feeling that he will be. I just hope he calms down and understands why I did this."

"I'm sure he will just give him time."

"Ya have you heard from any of the young ones?"

"Young ones?" Iruka couldn't help but laugh at that statement. "I haven't seen many of them I did see Shikamaru yesterday. He asked if I had seen Sasuke I told him I hadn't. He hadn't seen him either since the night you all went to dinner. He did tell me he was worried about him. I think Shikamaru and Neji figured out that something was wrong with Sasuke. I don't think they know its drugs but they do know he isn't alright. That's what I got from Shikamaru anyways. You know maybe giving Sasuke some space isn't a bad idea. You could ask Shikamaru or Neji maybe to see him maybe that would help him. I would imagine Naruto and Sakura would love to see him but that might be a little hard on Sasuke. Maybe having someone around that doesn't really know him before all of this happened would help."

"That might be a good idea. I can speak with Shikamaru and Neji about them possibly hanging around Sasuke. They would be the only logical option. They are both quiet and won't hold any of this against him."

"That's true they would be a good choice. They won't treat him any different which is the most important thing. How would you feel though if you couldn't see Sasuke for a little while?"

"I don't want to have to stay away, but I will be keeping an eye on him from afar. I would feel better knowing that Shikamaru and Neji are looking out for him."

"Well you can always ask them if they would looking out for him. I can't imagine that they would say no. those are the two I would trust the most with a situation like this."

"Ya I would have to agree with that. Naruto and Sakura will be upset that I didn't ask them but I don't think this is something they would be able to handle. Nor do I think Sasuke would appreciate them being around right now."

"Don't worry so much about it Kakashi. Sasuke hasn't even been back for a week barely give him time he'll come around. Sasuke's always been one of the smartest kids I've ever had the pleasure of teaching. He'll do the right thing in the end. I can see how stressed out over this you are."

"I am stressed how could I not be?"

"Well I might know of a way for you to relieve stress for a little bit."

"Oh and what do you suggest?"

Iruka smiled at Kakashi then moved over so he could straddle Kakashi's lap. He then put one finger on Kakashi's mask and pulled it down before claiming Kakashi's lips. Kakashi couldn't say he was surprised after all they had screwed each other a few times in the past. Usually when they didn't have a relationship going on they would use each other for satisfaction and a stress reliever. Kakashi wasn't going to lie he was horny especially after waking up next to Sasuke. Kakashi took control of the kiss dominating Iruka easily. Iruka was always submissive when it came to Kakashi. Iruka and Kakashi had always had interesting sex. Mostly, because they only slept together when the other needed it, usually after a really tough mission. They were always a little rough with each other especially after a tough mission they needed to release some of that stress and tension. Kakashi always took control when he needed it and Iruka always took control when he did, though Kakashi was always the dominant one. It wasn't uncommon for them to break apart with bite marks and scratches on each other's back. On the times when Kakashi had killed someone or lost a team member the sex would get rougher sometimes Kakashi would choke Iruka never leaving any marks though.

Kakashi put his right hand on the back of Iruka's neck pulling him closer to him. Iruka rocked his hips down on Kakashi's growing erection causing a moan to escape his lips. Kakashi put both his hands on the front of Iruka's shirt and ripped it open pulling it off from Iruka's shoulders. Iruka moved his hands to remove Kakashi's shirt as he continued to rock his hips. Once Kakashi's shirt was off Kakashi put both of his hands on the bottom of Iruka's ass and stood up. Iruka wrapped his legs around Kakashi's waist as they went into Iruka's bedroom. Once they were in the bedroom Kakashi placed Iruka down on the bed and crawled on top of him. He began to attack Iruka's neck biting and kissing it all over. Iruka moaned as he moved to undo Kakashi's pants. Kakashi began to undo Iruka's pants as he continued to kiss and bite down Iruka's chest.

"Oh Kakashi."

Kakashi pulled Iruka's pants and boxers off. Once they were off Kakashi didn't waste a second he put Iruka's hard dick in his mouth. Making Iruka arch his back and moan at the sudden contact. Kakashi moved his mouth all the way down Iruka's cock taking him down to the base. Before Kakashi brought his mouth back up he rolled his tongue along the tip making Iruka moan and grip the sheets. Kakashi slowly moved back up to the tip and flicked his tongue all along it. Kakashi loved to tease Iruka he loved the way he could make him beg for him to fuck him. Kakashi took him back in his mouth moving quickly he began to suck Iruka off.

"Oh god so close."

Kakashi immediately took his mouth off making Iruka whine at the sudden loss. Kakashi bent down and started kissing Iruka before he placed his right hand on the back of Iruka's neck. He lifted his head up as he went up on his knees putting Iruka into a sitting position but his face was right in front of Kakashi's clothed erection. Iruka knew what Kakashi wanted and he was happy to give it to him. Iruka brought his hands up to free Kakashi's rock hard erection then he took him into his mouth all the way. Kakashi moaned as Iruka began to suck him off. Iruka worked his way up and down Kakashi's shaft making sure he took him deep each time. Kakashi put his hand in Iruka's hair and grabbed a hold of it pulling his head off his cock.

"What do you want?"

"I want you to fuck me hard and deep."

"Show me how you want it then."

Kakashi let go of Iruka's hair as he stood up so he could take the rest of his clothes off. Iruka moved on the bed so he was on his knees doggy style. He made sure he spread his legs so Kakashi could get deep inside of him and he had his head on the bed so his ass was up in the air. Kakashi moaned just at the sight in front of him. Kakashi went on the bed still up on his knees. He ran a hand over Iruka's ass before giving it a few gentle smacks. Kakashi grabbed the lube that was on the dresser beside the bed just behind him. He coated three fingers with it and then placed one at Iruka's entrance.

"You want to be fuck?"

"Yes please."

"Then stretch yourself."

Iruka moaned as he pushed back on Kakashi's finger and he didn't stop until it was all the way in. he then began to move back and forth on it stretching himself. A few minutes later Kakashi added a second finger then a third. Iruka was moving faster now it felt so good he wanted more and he needed more.

"Mmmm please Kakashi."

"What do you want?"

"Fuck me please I need your dick inside me now."

"Are you sure that's what you want?"

"Fuck yes"

"As you wish."

Kakashi removed his fingers and replaced them with his dick. Kakashi didn't take it slow he pushed in to the base and began to pull back out immediately. Kakashi fucked Iruka hard and deep, but it was just how Iruka liked it. Iruka was moaning under him and his dick was rock hard to the point that it hurt while it dripped cum. The sounds were driving Kakashi crazy combined that with the blowjob he had just gotten he wasn't going to last long. Kakashi could tell that Iruka wasn't going to last much longer either. Kakashi continued his fast pace as he snaked a hand around and began to jerk Iruka off to the same pace.

"Oh fuck so close don't stop."

Kakashi bent down so he was over Iruka making his dick go even deeper into him hitting that sweet spot. Kakashi bit hard on the right side of Iruka's neck pushing Iruka over the edge. He screamed as he cam hard and long tightening his walls as he did. The heat and new tightness pushed Kakashi over the edge as he saw white spots he cam deep inside of Iruka. All that could be heard inside the bedroom was the heavy breathing of both men as they tried to focus back on reality. After a few minutes Kakashi pulled out and they both collapsed down on the bed beside each other. Iruka was the first to break the silence.

"Feel better?"

"Definitely. You ok?"

"I couldn't be any better. Do you wanna shower first?"

"No you go for it. I should head over to speak with Shikamaru."

"Okay I'll see you tomorrow maybe then."

"Most likely."

"Alright have a good night."

Iruka said as he gave Kakashi one last kiss before he headed out into the bathroom to shower. This was how it always went they both had unspoken rules for their little activities. They never did anything that was relationship related. They didn't go on dates; they didn't cuddle or shower together. They kept it strictly to just the sex. Yes they both cared about each other but not in a romantic way they were friends who had sex when they both needed it. It was an arrangement that came upon itself one day after they were both on a mission together and it went downhill resulting in the death of a young boy. That night they had needed a distraction and a form of a stress relief so they ended up having sex. Ever since then whenever one would need it the other was always willing to help. Kakashi got dressed and yelled a goodbye to Iruka who was just getting into the shower as he headed out the door to speak with Shikamaru about keeping an eye on Sasuke for him.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

It had been three months since Kakashi had spoken to Sasuke. That night after leaving Iruka's he went over to speak with Shikamaru about keeping an eye on Sasuke. He of course agreed to it and Kakashi filled him in on everything that was going on including Kovu and the heroin use. Shikamaru promised he would keep an eye on Sasuke and he would even get Neji to help him. Kakashi was alright with Neji helping Shikamaru look out for Sasuke, the more the better Kakashi figured. He was also fine with Neji he knew that he would keep this a secret and he wouldn't go around telling people about the drugs. Once a week Shikamaru would report back to Kakashi, letting him know what he did. The last month and a half is what had Kakashi worried. Shikamaru and Neji had both mentioned to Kakashi that they thought Kovu was abusing Sasuke. They had seen multiple bruises on him and when Sasuke and Kovu didn't know it they had taken turns on spying on them. Many occasions they both had witnessed Kovu punching Sasuke and even bringing him with him while he sold drugs, where in the alley he would punch and pin him to the wall and have Sasuke do things to him.

Kakashi didn't know how much longer he could go without seeing Sasuke. Both Neji and Shikamaru had stated that Sasuke looked like hell; he was extremely thin, always looked exhausted and pale. Kakashi didn't know how much longer he was supposed to stay away from Sasuke. It was getting clearer that he made the mistake of staying away from him. What he should have done was go to see him the next day and speak to him about how he felt and what he was afraid of. What he was afraid of was the love that he felt for Sasuke. He knew it was wrong that he shouldn't be in love with a sixteen year old especially one that went through hell for three years. Kakashi didn't want Sasuke to feel like he was taking advantage of him. Kakashi couldn't take it anymore Shikamaru had told him that Neji and himself were going to have lunch with Sasuke so Kakashi decided that he would meet them there.

Kakashi made his way down to the restaurant to see Sasuke. He knew this would be awkward and Sasuke would probably not be happy to see him, but he couldn't just leave Sasuke to be abused by Kovu and doing drugs. Kakashi walked into the restaurant and saw Neji, Shikamaru and Sasuke sitting in the back away from everyone. It would appear that Sasuke had mentioned how he didn't like crowds. Kakashi made his way over to the table and sat down next to Neji and across from Sasuke.

"Hello boys."

"Hello Kakashi it's good to see you." Neji said

"It's good to see you all. How have you been Sasuke?"

This was the first time Kakashi was able to actually get a good look at Sasuke. He had bruising on his face and on his arms that Kakashi could see. It was clear of the level of exhaustion that overtook him as well. He was pale and deathly thin from the heroin. He looked worse than he had three months ago it was clear that he was slowly killing himself.

"Hn"

Kakashi didn't expect Sasuke to really speak to him, especially after how they had left things three months ago in Sasuke's bedroom. What Kakashi was hoping for was to at least see Sasuke and maybe plant the seed in his brain so that Sasuke would come to him.

"How was your mission Kakashi?" Shikamaru asked

"It went well. Nothing came up along the way so I can't complain. I spoke to Naruto and Sakura before I left. They said that they haven't seen you Sasuke why is that?"

"How is that any of your business?"

"I'm just concerned is all."

"Ya well you haven't been concerned in the last three months. So there's really no point in being concerned now."

"I've always been concerned about you. That hasn't changed at all in the last three years for that matter. I'm worried about you Sasuke you look like death. I thought not being around you would have been what was best for you. I was wrong and I was stupid for doing what I did. For what I said to you; I've regretted what I told you every day for the last three months. What I said to you that night it was all a lie. The truth is I love you with everything in me and I want to be there every step of the way. I'm sorry for running. I'm sorry for lying to you and thinking that, that would be better for you. I was wrong and I refuse to run anymore."

Sasuke didn't know what to say to that. He had missed Kakashi for the last three months. He missed the way he made him feel, he missed talking to him without being judged. Most importantly he missed his touch the way it made him feel safe and cared for. Kovu's touch was always hard and empty, but Kakashi's had always been soft and gentle. Before he could even say anything someone else's voice came out.

"Hey there babe."

Everyone at the table turned their attention to Kovu who just walked thru the door. He made his way over to the table and before Sasuke could say anything he grabbed Sasuke's chin and pulled him into a kiss. Everyone could tell how strong the grip was on Sasuke's chin. Finally Kovu pulled back and gave Sasuke a smile.

"What are you doing here?" Sasuke asked

"I know you said you were going to have lunch with a few friends, but I need your help."

"Okay with what?"

"I'll explain on the way. Do you mind?"

"No that's fine."

"Let's go."

"I'll see you guys later."

Sasuke got up and headed out the door with Kovu. Kakashi watched as they disappeared down the street before he turned his attention back to Neji and Shikamaru.

"He looks horrible."

"Ya something happened while you were on the mission." Shikamaru answered

"What happened?"

"Neji and I went to his place to check up on him. We found him on his couch unconscious. We took him to the hospital and it turned out that he had OD."

"When did this happen?"

"Two days ago we found him. He just got out of the hospital yesterday." Neji answered

Kakashi shook his head at the new found information. If he was honest with himself he knew it was only a matter of time before Sasuke would OD. Especially with him dating Kovu when he was with Kovu that one time he was shooting up every two hours. It was like Sasuke was playing Russian roulette with himself. Kakashi knew that he couldn't wait around for Sasuke any longer he had to be there for him. This is why he decided to confess that he loved him. Kakashi was hoping that with Sasuke now knowing the truth he would be more willing to come to him again.

"This is getting out of control." Kakashi simply said

"His arms are a mess. They are covered in needle marks it's not just the middle of his elbow." Shikamaru said

"He's killing himself." Kakashi whispered

"He is and he's getting pretty close to succeeding. Something needs to happen drastically. The point of waiting for Sasuke to come to one of us is passed. We have to make him quit and as long as he is with Kovu he won't." Neji Said.

"Kovu is abusing him and it's getting worse. You could see just a hint of it here the way he grabbed him and after everything that happened in the Sound Sasuke doesn't know any better. To him that's normal and that's not his fault he just has never seen otherwise. He needs to be taken away from Kovu and then maybe he can start to get off the heroin." Shikamaru said

"It's not that simple to just quit heroin it's an opiate. If Sasuke goes cold turkey he could die from the withdrawals. I would need to speak with Tsunade-Sama to see how to get him off from the heroin safely. I do agree he needs to quit and he needs to get away from Kovu. I'm going to give him two days to come to me if he doesn't then I will speak with Tsunade-Sama and have something put into place so that he has to live with me. If need be I will live with Sasuke hating me if that means he is healthy and alive." Kakashi said

"I think he'll come around especially once he is away from Kovu. I don't think he hates you I think he's just confused and afraid. I have no idea what happened in the last three years I can make assumptions and guess, but I don't know. I do know that for him to be doing the heroin he's trying to forget what happened to him. I know that he doesn't think he's worth anything, his confidence is completely destroyed. He needs time to recover from what happened, but he can't move passed everything if he doesn't get healthy." Shikamaru said

"Alright I'm going to go and speak with Tsunade-Sama to see about how to get Sasuke through the withdrawals. I'll speak to you two in a day or two. If Sasuke hasn't come to me yet then the three of us will have to do a more physical intervention on him."

Both Neji and Shikamaru gave a nod to that as Kakashi got up and headed out the door.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Kakashi was heading back to his apartment; he had just finished a conversation with Tsunade about how to get Sasuke through the withdrawals. She had explained to him that Sasuke would need to be monitored the whole time to make sure that nothing happened. She explained to Kakashi how he would have to cut down slowly over time by extending the hours in between shooting up so eventually it was far enough apart that Sasuke could stop completely. Kakashi knew that he would be there every step of the way that he would go through this with Sasuke regardless if Sasuke wanted him to or not. He made the mistake of walking away from Sasuke three months ago and he was not about to make that mistake again. In the last three months Naruto and Sakura had been hounding him about Sasuke. They had barely seen him as well as everyone else with the exception of Neji and Shikamaru in those months. He just told them that Sasuke was going through something and that they needed to give him time and space. They didn't like it and they were constantly harassing him for answers that he couldn't give. Kakashi didn't want everyone to know that Sasuke was a heroin addict if he told them that was one thing, but he wasn't about to air out Sasuke's dirty laundry for nothing. In the end it really wasn't their business if Sasuke was struggling or not. Kakashi was handling it and he had help from Tsunade, Neji and Shikamaru.

Kakashi had slept with Iruka fairly regularly in the past three months from stress and loneliness. It was nice to have that type of friendship that they could sleep together and still act like normal friends afterwards. It had worked for many years and Kakashi was always thankful for that. Iruka had told him that he should just confess to Sasuke that it might give him the push that he needs to get clean and sober. One thing Kakashi did know was that he hated Kovu and what he has done to Sasuke. Sasuke was having trouble when he came back from the Sound, but Kovu had made it worse. Kakashi got to his apartment, but his mind couldn't stop going over how horrible Sasuke looked. Kakashi wanted to give Sasuke a couple of days to be able to process everything that Kakashi had said, but Kakashi honestly didn't think he would be able to last that long just sitting around waiting. The waiting was driving him insane he didn't know how much longer he could do this. He just wanted Sasuke with him where he would be safe and loved. The bruises all over his arms looked bad and Kakashi knew there would be more underneath his shirt. Combined that with the fact that just two days ago he had OD and was hospitalized. Kakashi didn't know if he would be able to control himself if he ever got his hands on Kovu. Even though he had just gotten home Kakashi decided to go out into the training rounds and work out. He had to get rid of this anger and worry somehow, what better way than to exhaust himself training.

Pain, that was the only thing that came to Sasuke's mind as he walked back to his home. Every part of his body was screaming at him in protests. The help that Kovu needed was for him to be the entertainment for his drug boss and his friends. Sasuke had spent the best of the last two days being held down and fucked while getting beaten in between when he was complaining to Kovu about it. Now he was covered in bruises and blood. He desperately needed a shower, thankfully before he left Kovu's he shot up so he was at least high, but that did nothing for the level of pain that he was in. These last three months had been horrible for him. Ever since Kakashi had told him that sleeping together was a mistake his life went downhill. Now just two days ago Kakashi came to him and told him that he was sorry and that he loved him. Sasuke didn't know what to believe. If Kakashi did love him why did he run away three months ago? Why hadn't he tried to see him in the past three months? Sasuke didn't know what to think or feel about any of it. He did know that he couldn't and didn't want to do this anymore. He didn't want to feel like this always sick and in pain, it was just like being in the Sound. What made it worse was the fact that Sasuke hated himself for his body to be craving Kakashi's gentle touch. He was so confused he didn't know what to do or to believe anymore.

Once home Sasuke headed straight for the bathroom to shower away all the hands that covered his skin. Kakashi had told him three months ago that he was just replacing the bad hands with more bad hands and at first Sasuke didn't understand him. Now though, he fully understood what Kakashi had meant. Even though Sasuke was a willing participant the hands on his skin were just as bad as Orochimaru's hands had been. The only good hands he had was when Kakashi had touched him. When it was Kakashi's touch it was like everything was all okay for a little while. When he was around Kakashi he didn't want to be high or drunk he just wanted to be himself around him. Sasuke missed feeling like that he missed feeling cared for and loved. After a good hour Sasuke got out of the shower and dried off. He then went and put on some clean clothes before he went out into his living room only to find out that he wasn't alone anymore.

There standing in his living room was Kakashi. He had gotten there just roughly thirty minutes ago and could hear the shower running. Kakashi decided to just stay in the living room and wait for Sasuke to finish up. Waiting for the two days Kakashi thought he was going to go insane just sitting around his apartment. Now here he was standing in Sasuke's living room and he looked even worse than he did two days ago. It was taking everything in Kakashi not to go over to Kovu's apartment and kill him right then a there. Sasuke had bruising all over his face, arms and neck. Kakashi was sure it went under his clothing as well and all over his back. He looked horrible if he was lucky he weighed eighty pounds.

"Kakashi what are you doing here?" his tone wasn't angry it was more of an exhausted tone. Kakashi took this as a good sign that he wasn't intruding on anything.

"I wanted to see you. I thought that maybe I should give you a day or two to think about what I said. Though, seeing you now I think I was wrong about that. I should have just followed you when Kovu took you away and kill that son of a bitch."

"You never swear you must be upset. Do you want something to drink?" Sasuke's voice was hoarse and Kakashi couldn't help, but wonder what had happened to him in the last two days to cause it.

"Sure"

"Coffee?"

"That's fine with me."

Sasuke moved so he was in the kitchen where he could start a pot of coffee. Kakashi had to admit he was surprised that Sasuke offered coffee he thought for sure he meant an actual drink. Kakashi followed Sasuke into the kitchen and he noticed that he was being very careful of his right side. Kakashi sat down on one of the stools that Sasuke had in his kitchen while Sasuke leaned against the counter. No one said anything while the coffee was brewing. Neither one knew where to start. There was so much that Kakashi wanted to say to Sasuke and so much that Sasuke wanted to say to Kakashi, but they just didn't know where to start. Once the coffee was done Sasuke poured two cups and added sugar and milk before handing the one cup to Kakashi. No one still didn't say anything for a few minutes, before Sasuke finally broke the silence.

"I don't know what to say."

"I don't either. There are hundreds of thoughts going through my head, but I don't know what ones to go with first."

"I just I don't understand why. You tell me three months ago that it was a mistake and now you're telling me you love me. You were gone for three months, you didn't try to see me or talk to me you just completely ignored me. Ya you had Neji and Shikamaru keep an eye out for me, but you acted like I didn't exist. Now all of a sudden you want back in my life telling me you're sorry and that you love me. What am I supposed to do with that?"

"I know it's confusing and I'm sorry for that. I was scared and I ran. It's not right and I'll always be sorry for that. I had some things I had to work out. At the time I wasn't ready to accept that I love you. You're sixteen and I shouldn't feel this way about you, but I do. At the time it scared me and I didn't know what to think. I didn't want you to get the wrong idea or impression so I thought it would be best if I left. I didn't want you to think I wanted something from you. After everything that you had been through in the Sound I just thought it would be best to give you some time to sort yourself out. Looking at you now though, I made a horrible mistake."

"Scared of what?"

"Of my feelings for you. Sasuke you're sixteen I'm twenty-eight I shouldn't feel this way about you. What scared me the most though, was that first time three years ago. Being with you afterwards no one ever felt the same and that's what scared me the most. A person isn't supposed to feel this way about a kid and I know you're sixteen, but still back then you were thirteen it's wrong. "

"But you don't feel that way now?"

"I needed time to figure it all out. In the last three months all I could think about was you and what you were doing. I asked Shikamaru to look out for you so I could know if you were alright. He asked Neji to help him out with looking out for you when he was on a mission. They're worried about you; they don't like what's going on with you and Kovu. You gave them one hell of a scare when they found you when you OD the other day. I can't keep doing this I can't just not be there for you. I look at you and I can't help but think that if I hadn't ran away three months ago this wouldn't have happened. You wouldn't be standing there covered in bruises and tack marks."

"He's not that bad. He just gets angry sometimes."

"Sasuke have you looked in a mirror recently?"

"I don't see how that's relevant."

"You don't see how that's relevant to how bad you look right now?"

Kakashi shook his head and then got up. He grabbed Sasuke by the hand and started to drag him into the bathroom. Sasuke tried to pull his hand away from Kakashi's grip he didn't want to see what he looked like. He hadn't looked in a mirror for months he didn't want to know how horrible he looked from the heroin and the beatings. Once in the bathroom Kakashi placed Sasuke in front of the mirror, but Sasuke kept his eyes closed.

"Kakashi I don't want to do this."

"Open your eyes Sasuke. You need to see what he has done to you. You need to see what you look like so you can get better."

"Kakashi please I don't want to."

"I know, but you need to."

Sasuke let out a deep breath before opening his eyes and looking at the mirror. He couldn't stop the tears that came at the sight of himself. He was covered in bruising, he was deathly thin and pale from the drugs. He looked horrible and it was exactly what he was so afraid of that he hadn't looked in the mirror for so long now. Sasuke broke free from Kakashi's grip and headed back out into the living room.

"I can't do this."

Kakashi followed him determined to get Sasuke through this.

"Can't do what Sasuke? Talk to me please."

"I can't do this anymore, but I can't stop. You think I don't want to? You think I like feeling this way like I'm nothing? I can't help it though and I can't stop it. The heroin is the only thing keeping me from just killing myself."

"Do you want to quit Sasuke? That's the only question that matters do you want to quit the heroin?"

"I can't. I can't handle everything if I do. The memories, the hands, I can't do it I can't keep going through it all over again."

Sasuke had tears coming down his face. Kakashi was finally able to get Sasuke to break now all he had to do was start to get him back together. He wrapped his arms around Sasuke and held him as he spoke.

"You are so much stronger than you think you are. You lived through three years of being in the Sound. You survived everything Orochimaru put you through and those two agents. Sasuke you survived it once and you can survive the memories. Sasuke I'm not saying you have to quit cold turkey you can't it's too dangerous for you to do it that way. All I am asking you is if you want to try and quit."

"I don't want to feel this way, but I'm scared. I'm scared to do it alone. I'm scared to relive the memories that I don't remember because of the heroin. I'm so scared."

"Shh it's going to be okay. First off, you will never do this alone I will be there every single step of the way. Secondly, I know you're scared and you have every reason to be, but you can't keep getting high because you're afraid. We can take this slow and work through the memories as they come. Like I said you can't quit cold turkey it's too dangerous. You have to cut back slowly over time so as new memories come we can work through them. There's only one question that matters do you want to try and quit?"

"Yes"

"Alright then let's try together. We can stay here or we can stay at my place if you want. It's up to you."

"Can we stay here?"

"Ya I told you we can. It's going to be okay we will get through this together I promise you I'm not going anywhere."

Sasuke just gave a nod as he walked out of Kakashi's arms. He started to walk around his kitchen trying to get a grip back on himself. It was overwhelming to see himself in the mirror after so many months of never looking. It was true that was the push that Sasuke needed to force himself to get clean, but that didn't mean seeing himself was any easier. He placed his hands on the counter of the island that was in his kitchen. Kakashi still stood in the living room, but he could see Sasuke clearly, it was an open concept design.

"You didn't make it worse or make me confused."

"What?"

"You said you didn't want to confuse me or make it worse what happened you didn't. I've spent over three years trying to forget what Orochimaru and his men did to me. I've spent years trying to get the hands off of me. The heroin was a means of an escape and it worked to help the nightmares and help me forget, but after a while it stopped working as well and I just did it because I was addicted. The only time that I have actually been able to feel like I can breathe is when I was with you. It wasn't about the sex that didn't matter. Just being around you made me feel like I could be okay. Sex with you is so much different than everyone else; and ya I haven't actually had the best relationships, but I know enough that with you it's different. When I'm with you the hands go away. It's like magic all of a sudden everything goes quiet and peaceful. I wasn't confused and misplacing emotions I knew what I felt for you, because I felt it the whole time I was in the Sound. When days got so bad that I thought for sure I couldn't go on I would think of you and it would give me the strength to keep going. All I could think about for three years was just getting back to Konoha so I could see you again. You didn't make me confused. You made me feel like I could breathe finally again. Then you left and I thought you just wanted what everyone else wanted. I thought you didn't care that you just acted like you did until you got what you wanted. Kovu was there and one thing led to another. Next thing I know he's beating me and forcing me to sleep with his drug lords…"

"He what?" Kakashi asked anger clear all throughout his voice.

"It's nothing"

"Don't. Don't say that what happened to you is nothing like you don't matter. You matter Sasuke. Someone putting their hands on you matters. Someone forcing themselves on you matters. Whether you are high or not, no one has any right to hurt you."

Kakashi said as he moved towards Sasuke who kept his place in the kitchen. When Kakashi was standing beside Sasuke is when he spoke.

"A lot of people have hurt me. You just get used to it."

"It's not something you should ever be used to. You deserve better than that Sasuke. You deserved to be loved and cared for. More importantly you deserve to be respected."

"You say that, but I don't feel that way. I know it's normal that I don't feel that way. I know I shouldn't take what people said to me to heart. I know they only said those things to hurt me, but I can't help it. I still hear the words going through my head all the time. I shouldn't believe it, but I do."

"It's natural for you to feel this way. Sasuke you have been through hell and back twice over in the last three years. You didn't hear these things once you heard them for years and I'm willing to bet it was every day. It's going to take time for you to feel differently, for those words to go away. I promise you though if you just push through this you'll never feel like this again. You look exhausted."

"I am."

"Are you in any pain at all?"

"Nothing I'm not used to."

"I think I know just what you need to feel better." Kakashi said you could hear the smile in his voice.

"That's tempting, but I'm in too much pain to have sex, even with you." Sasuke smirked back.

"That's a shame, but that's not what I was talking about. Sex can always come later when you are no longer in pain. My idea will get your sore muscles all relaxed and make you feel good at the same time."

"And what would that be?"

"Give me a minute and I will show you."

Kakashi walked over to the bathroom to start a nice hot bath. Kakashi looked through the bathroom and found bubble bath foam in the back under the bathroom counter. Kakashi knew that it was from his mother when she was alive. Kakashi made a mental note to speak to Sasuke about why he still lives in the home his parents were killed in. He poured some of the bath foam into the tub then placed the bottle back under the sink. Once the tub was filled he went back out into the kitchen to see Sasuke still standing there.

"What are you doing?"

"We are going to take a hot bath."

"You do remember what happened the last time we did that." Sasuke said with a smile.

"I do, but that's not going to happen this time around. This time we are going to sit in a hot bath then curl up in bed together."

"Well how can I say no to an offer like that?"

"That's exactly my point."

Sasuke smiled and made his way over to the washroom where Kakashi went into himself. They both got undressed and like before Kakashi got in first followed by Sasuke so he could lean against Kakashi's chest. The hot water felt amazing on his sore body.

"Hmm this is a good idea."

"See I told you I had a good idea."

"How are we going to do this? You said it's dangerous for me to just quit."

"It is dangerous. I asked Tsunade the other day about how to quit heroin. She said that you have to do it over time. She said for however long you can go in between the hits you add on two hours. You do that for a week then you push it back another two hours and you keep doing that till you only do it once a day then you just stop."

"That doesn't sound so bad. After the first day your body would adjust to the time difference."

"How long in between do you shoot up?"

"Every two hours. So now I just go back to every four hours."

"And I'll be here every step of the way. One of those steps is fattening you up."

"Not doing so much heroin will help with that. I still don't eat junk food."

"What about cookies?" Kakashi joked

"Only if I make them."

"You bake?"

"And cook. I'm very good in a kitchen."

"You're getting sexier and sexier each day you know that."

Sasuke couldn't help the chuckle that came out.

"Because I can cook and bake?"

"No, because you're good in a kitchen and you can kick some serious ass."

"It's been a while since I've kicked anyone's ass."

"But you still can. Now hush and let me make you feel good."

Sasuke couldn't help but smile. Kakashi did make him feel good. Kakashi started at his shoulders and massaged all the way down until every part of his body was relaxed and no longer full of knots. Once they were done in the tub they got out and headed into the bedroom to get some sleep. Kakashi wasn't tired, but it was obvious that Sasuke was beyond exhausted. They got into bed and Kakashi immediately wrapped his arms around Sasuke. Sasuke curled up against Kakashi's chest and it wasn't long before he was fast asleep.

_A/N: Alright I could use the help with my story Hell. I want to continue it, but I have no idea where to go from where I left off. It's not even writers block I literally have no clue how to continue so for anyone who is following that story send me a message or a review with some ideas as to where to go from there._


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Sasuke stood there looking at his reflection in the mirror. He couldn't believe what he was seeing. If you had told Sasuke a year ago that he would be drug free in a year and going back to work he would have laughed. Now here he was standing in his bathroom, in the house that he shares with his boyfriend, completely heroin free. He had been sober for six months now and today was his first mission back since coming home from the Sound. It had been a long fifteen months since he walked back into Konoha and looking back all the hard work had been worth it. He no longer had bruises littered on his skin. There were no longer track marks all over his arms. He was up to a healthy and safe weight and sleeps a good eight hours a night. He still got the occasional nightmare, but it wasn't anything he couldn't handle. Sasuke honestly believed that this day would never come. Looking back on the last year Sasuke couldn't believe he had made it through. Kakashi had been his pillar of strength and hope. If it hadn't been for Kakashi he would have been dead by now. Though, that didn't mean that the last year was easy, it wasn't at all. The withdrawals never seemed to end. Sasuke had to cut down slowly he knew that, but it felt like he was never going to be drug free. It had taken a good six months for him to be completely sober. It would have been sooner if it wasn't for the moments when everything got to its breaking point. There had been a couple of times when Sasuke went off his plan and had done more heroin then he was supposed to. It was always around certain memories that came back to him. Each time he had a nightmare Kakashi would make him explain to him what had happened. Each time Sasuke felt like he couldn't tell Kakashi what had happened to him. He was too afraid that it would change what Kakashi thought of him. Sasuke had thought numerous times that Kakashi was going to leave and give up on him, but he never did.

Kakashi had been there through it all and never once did he leave his side. Even when Sasuke was yelling at him and blaming him for everything, Kakashi still stayed. There was nothing that Sasuke could say to make him leave, no matter how hard he tried and he did try. Kakashi simply just stood there and took it all, for he two knew what Sasuke was trying to do. At one point Kakashi had told him, "Say whatever you want. I don't care. There is nothing you can say to me or do to me that will make me leave. So get it all out, because I am not going anywhere." Sasuke could still remember those words crystal clear. Those were the words that would push him through the hell his body was in. Those were the words that told him every time he doubted Kakashi. Those were the words that reminded him that he wasn't alone in this. Kakashi had continued to be there for him, through it all. He had protected him and kept him away from Kovu. When Sasuke needed to get more heroin Kakashi would go and he always got it from someone else. When Kovu came looking for Sasuke; Kakashi put an end to it. It was on month five when Kakashi had to go out for a few hours. At that point Sasuke had been shooting up just twice a day, once every twelve hours. Kakashi had to go and put in some training with Naruto and Sakura. He didn't want to leave, but Sasuke had assured him that he would be fine on his own. A few hours later when he had returned from the training session he walked in to find Sasuke and Kovu in the living room. Though, based on how Sasuke was Kovu was not wanted in the house. Sasuke was standing with his arms crossed over his chest and was very much so on the defensive. Kovu was talking loudly and trying to get Sasuke to come back to him. He was telling him how he wasn't good enough for a normal life. That he needed the heroin more than he realized.

Kakashi wasn't going to stand around and let Kovu try and ruin all of Sasuke's hard work. Kakashi had decided that he had waited long enough for this and he wasn't about to let this opportunity go free. Kakashi had told Sasuke to go and see Shikamaru and Neji for a little while. Sasuke didn't even argue or ask any questions. He just grabbed his jacket, put on his shoes and walked out the door. He went to see Shikamaru and Neji on the training grounds and stayed there until Kakashi returned for him. Once Kovu was released from the hospital a month later; he was then thrown into jail on a life sentence. Kovu was never going to be a problem ever again for Sasuke and Kakashi had made sure of it. Tsunade had done her job and made sure the Higher Up knew about his agents and what they were doing to teenage boys. Tsunade had said she was going to right the wrongs that she had made, and she did just that. The whole operation and department was investigated with a fine tooth comb. Thirty-eight agents were found to be dirty and all of them faced prosecution including the two agents that abused Sasuke. The Higher Up had even sent Sasuke compensation for what happened to him in the three years in the Sound. It was a large amount of money, nearly three million. At the time he put the money in the bank with the rest of the Clan's money. He didn't know what he wanted to do with it all, but he wanted it to mean something. The Uchiha Clan was one of the wealthiest clans on that side of the Earth; totaling over twenty-eight million dollars. He wanted to put the money towards something good, but he just couldn't figure out what yet.

Everything seemed to fall into place in the past year. He was heroin free, he was healthy, going back to work and most importantly he was living with the man he loved. Sasuke never thought that he would ever feel happy again. The Sound was finally behind him and he felt like his old self once again. He had even managed to repair his friendships with Naruto and Sakura and he even managed to build new ones with the rest of the "Rookies". Sasuke hated to admit it, but it did feel good to have friends, to have people he could trust and rely on. It was a feeling that he never really had known before and now that he does, he truly had no idea how he lived so long without. After his family's death Sasuke didn't want to care about people, he didn't want another family. He now knows that he was wrong in thinking that. It wasn't about replacing his old family; it was learning to love a new one. He'll always have his family, but now he doesn't have to go through life alone and in mourning. He's learned that it's okay to move on and enjoy life, that by doing that he isn't forgetting about his family he's just not killing himself to remember. Sasuke turned his head when he felt the presence of the man that he loves.

"You are breathtaking." Kakashi said with a smile on his uncovered face.

"I could say the same about you."

Kakashi went over to Sasuke and wrapped his arms around him from behind, so they were both facing the mirror.

"It's been a hard year." Kakashi said

"It's been a crazy year. I'm still waiting to wake up and discover it's all been a dream."

"Is it a good dream?"

"It's an amazing dream; and if I am dreaming then I hope I never wake up. I never thought this would ever be possible."

"A year ago we stood in the exact spot and you were covered in bruises and track marks. You were pale, shaking and deathly thin. Now it's like it never even happened and I couldn't be more proud of you. Or more in love with you then I am right now."

"I never could have done this without you."

Sasuke turned around in Kakashi's arms so he was facing him. Sasuke leaned in and gave Kakashi a gentle kiss on the lips.

"You nervous?" Kakashi asked when he pulled away.

"A little, it's been fifteen months that's a long time. It's just like riding a bike though right?"

"You will be fine; beside I'll be right there beside you."

"I know. What about you are you nervous? You haven't been on a mission in a year either."

"I have no reason to be nervous. You'll be right there beside me. You, me. Naruto and Sakura just like old times."

"Except this time around I get to practise being quiet during sex." Sasuke said with a devilish smirk.

"Who said I wanted you quiet?" Kakashi asked as he pressed his body against Sasuke's.

"Well I can't exactly make a lot of noise in the forest when our teammates are asleep."

"You should get all that noise out now. Get it out of your system so you can be quiet later. Besides it's a lot more fun making you scream. It's always the quiet ones that are the loudest in bed. I enjoy watching you unravel and whither underneath me."

Kakashi's mouth was right above Sasuke's they were almost touching.

"We're going to be late." Sasuke whispered

"Some things are worth being late for."

Kakashi closed the tiny gap between them and kissed Sasuke fiercely. Sasuke knew that they were going to be late, but in the moment he really didn't care. He allowed Kakashi to take over and before he knew it they were on their bed naked and making love. It was over two hours before they broke apart, both sweaty and tired. They laid down beside each other both panting for air.

"Now we both need another shower." Sasuke said with a light tone to his voice.

"Take it from me if you are already an hour late anything after that really doesn't matter, because you are already late."

"So is this what you were doing all those times you were late?"

"No, but I have to say this is my most favorite time being late. Not to mention I made you late, the Uchiha Sasuke who is always early I have made late."

"I could get used to being late if this always happened."

"I think I could arrange that."

Sasuke let out a small chuckle. "So I think I have figured out what I want to do with all that money."

"It's about time. What did you come up with?"

"I was thinking last night about the last four years. They haven't exactly been something to brag about that's for sure. What happened to me just got me thinking about everything I saw in the Sound. We traveled from one hideout to the next and each village we went through it was always run down and full of crime. I remember though, there were always these families just fighting to survive and orphan children living on the streets. I can't change that there will always be crime and bad people in the world, but what if I could give those innocent children and families a safe place for a fresh start. I have to speak to Tsunade-Sama about it, but what if I renovated the compound and made it a safe haven for families and orphans. I don't even know if Tsunade-Sama will let me, but the property is just sitting there, getting more condemned as the years go on. I want to put life back into it and what better way to do that then to put deserving families there."

Kakashi gave Sasuke a huge genuine smile. "I think that is a wonderful idea Sasuke. I don't see how Tsunade-Sama would have a problem with that. You would be helping families that are in need and their lives are in danger. You would be taking what happened in the Sound and turning it into a positive thing. I think it's a wonderful idea, one that I will help and support you with completely."

"The strongest memories that I have from growing up is the laughter. It was like the compound had its own little world. It didn't matter how horrible it was outside, inside the compound everything was safe and freeing. There was so much laughter in those walls and I want to be able to put that back into it. Hopefully this will work out and I'll be allowed to do it."

"I'm sure it will. I'm so proud of you."

"Thanks Kakashi. Now get your ass up we're late." Sasuke said with a smile as he got up off the bed and headed into the bathroom to shower. Kakashi gave a smile and followed after him. By the time they reached Naruto and Sakura at the front gates they were three hours late.

"You're late!" both Naruto and Sakura yelled.

"Ya it's all his fault." Sasuke said pointing to Kakashi.

"Why Sasuke I don't know what you mean? I was merely lending a helping hand to someone in need."

"More than a hand." Sasuke said under his breath.

"Seriously! You left us standing here for three hours while you two had sex!" Naruto yelled clearly annoyed.

"You sound pretty tense there Naruto maybe you are the one that needs to get laid. It's a great stress reliever you know." Sasuke said with a smirk

"Oh eww I don't want to be thinking about any of the three of you having sex." Sakura said

"Sex is a natural thing Sakura. It helps keep the body fit and in good condition. It helps relieve stress and done right it can even help with anger management. It is a natural experience and biological need after all." Kakashi said in his teaching voice.

"Can we just get on with this mission please? You two have already made us late so the least you can do is stop talking about having sex. I don't need any mental images of any of you having sex thanks." Sakura said

"Hey we could have already been on our way if Naruto didn't ask so many questions." Sasuke said with a smirk as he started to walk away.

"You're gonna blame this on me? I wasn't the one three hours late teme!" Naruto yelled as he followed behind Sasuke.

"Stop with the sex talk!" Sakura yelled after them and took off to catch up to them so she could hit Naruto for bring it back up. Kakashi stood there for a moment just shaking his head. Four years ago he would have never thought he would ever see his team acting like this. He thought for sure that Sasuke would never be healed, that he had failed him. Now here they were four years later and it was like the Sound and the heroin never even happened. Kakashi gave a smile and started to walk after them. Everything was going to be alright from now on.

The End


End file.
